In the United States, weddings follow traditions that are often based on religion, culture, and social customs. Many wedding traditions in the United States were taken from European countries. In the United States, marriages are usually arranged by the people getting married, and ceremonies can be either religious or civil. The United States also allows same-sex marriages, which are different from the traditional bride and groom model.

In a traditional wedding, the couple to be married invites their family and friends. A woman who is getting married is called a bride, and a man who is getting married is called a groom. Family and friends who are closest to the couple are chosen to be bridesmaids and groomsmen. The closest friends or family members are selected to be the maid of honor and best man.

Traditionally, U.S. weddings take place in religious buildings like churches, with a religious leader leading the ceremony. During the ceremony, the couple promises their love and commitment to each other using vows provided by the church. The couple then exchanges rings, which represent their lasting love and commitment. After the vows, the couple is officially announced as married and referred to as each other’s husband or wife. They share their first kiss as a married couple, which marks the start of their union. The couple then leaves the building, and family and friends throw rice or wheat, which symbolizes fertility. After the ceremony, there may be a wedding reception. The couple often goes on a honeymoon, which is a trip to celebrate their marriage and lasts several days or weeks.

Modern weddings often differ from these traditions. Weddings may be held outdoors or in other buildings instead of churches, and people who lead the ceremony may not be religious leaders but instead are licensed by the state. The religious vows may be replaced with vows written by the couple themselves. Many venues no longer allow throwing rice and instead suggest alternatives like throwing birdseed or grass seed. Other traditional elements of a wedding may be changed or not used at all, and weddings can vary greatly in how they are organized compared to traditional weddings.

History

In the 19th century, weddings were usually small events held at the home of the bride’s or groom’s parents. People shared news about the wedding at their church on the Sunday after the ceremony. During the 1820s and 1830s, weddings became more detailed, especially for wealthy families, who had ceremonies similar to those seen today. Brides often wore their best dress, which was not always white because white dresses were hard to keep clean. It was not until the middle of the 19th century that brides began purchasing dresses made specifically for their wedding. Around the same time, couples started hiring people to create floral decorations and wedding cakes instead of making them at home.

Today, many couples in the United States choose to marry at older ages. The average age for men getting married is 27 years old, while the average age for women is 25 years old. In the 21st century, states began allowing same-sex marriages, and later, same-sex marriage became legal in all 50 states across the country.

Cultural traditions

The saying, "Something old, something new, / Something borrowed, something blue, / A silver sixpence in her shoe" began during the Victorian era. It tells brides to wear certain items in their wedding clothes to bring good luck to their new marriage. Many brides in the U.S. follow this tradition for fun. "Something old" represents the past, especially the connection between the bride and her family. The bride might wear jewelry from an elder or an item given by a family member. "Something new" represents the couple’s future together. This could be the bride’s wedding dress or ring. "Something borrowed" is an item taken from a family member who is happily married. It is returned after the wedding to share happiness with the new couple. "Something blue" shows the bride’s loyalty. Brides can wear blue flowers or a blue garter. A silver sixpence placed in the bride’s shoe is believed to bring the couple wealth and love.

Many brides today wear white wedding dresses. Before the 19th century, brides wore their best dress. In the 1840s, Queen Victoria wore white, making it a popular choice.

Brides often wear veils with their dresses. Veils once symbolized a bride’s modesty and innocence, such as her virginity.

There is a tradition where the groom asks the bride’s father for his blessing.

Weeks before the wedding, the maid of honor may plan a wedding shower. At this event, the bride receives gifts from family and friends. Couples often create a list of needed items, like dishes or bedding, for guests to choose from.

The best man may organize a bachelor party for the groom and his friends. This is a final celebration before marriage. A similar event, called a bachelorette party, may be held for the bride and her friends.

Bridal showers are usually planned by the maid of honor and are meant to be fun. They began in Holland for brides who could not get a dowry from their fathers. Friends gave gifts to help the bride marry.

Some couples avoid seeing each other before the wedding. This tradition is now for luck and superstition, but it started when marriages were arranged. Brides and grooms met for the first time at their wedding.

During the ceremony, bridesmaids and groomsmen are included. Bridesmaids were once used to confuse evil spirits. Groomsmen helped men capture women to marry them. The best man was chosen for his strength.

Today, the bride’s father walks her down the aisle to show he approves of the groom. Long ago, fathers gave their daughters to husbands because they were considered their property.

The officiant asks guests if they know any reason the couple should not marry.

The ceremonial kiss at the end of the ceremony has many meanings. In ancient Rome, a kiss sealed legal agreements. It is also believed to join the couple’s souls. Today, it is a symbol of love.

At the reception, the best man and maid of honor often give a toast. Guests may give gifts to the couple.

Wedding cakes symbolize fertility. Sharing the first piece of cake was once a ritual to help the bride have children. Superstitions say the bride cannot bake or taste the cake before the wedding or risk losing her husband’s love. Keeping a piece of cake after the wedding is believed to ensure the husband stays faithful.

Guests may throw rice at the couple for good luck. This tradition began when people threw grains to wish the couple a good harvest and many children.

The bride throws her bouquet to unmarried women. The woman who catches it is believed to be the next to marry.

The groom removes the bride’s garter and tosses it to single men. The man who catches it is believed to be the next to marry. In older times, guests took stockings from the bride’s room and threw them at the groom. Whoever hit the groom’s nose was thought to be the next to marry. Even earlier, the garter was thrown to witnesses to show the marriage was completed.

After the reception, the couple goes on a honeymoon. This trip, lasting days or weeks, is where the couple begins their life together. The term "honeymoon" comes from ancient Germanic traditions. Newlyweds drank honey wine for 30 days, matching the time between full moons.

The tradition of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold has many meanings. It now symbolizes luck and the bride giving the groom her virginity. In the past, brides were forced to marry, and the groom carried them over the threshold to show he had taken control.

American traditions

Few wedding traditions are unique to the United States because most come from other cultures. Many of these customs come from Europe. In the United States, it is common for people to follow the traditions of their culture or religion. However, some traditions have become common in the United States.

It is common to give gifts to newlyweds for their new home during the wedding reception. To avoid getting the same gifts or having to return unwanted ones, many couples register at stores. Couples select items they want as gifts, and their friends and family can choose to buy one of these items.

Religious traditions

In a Jewish wedding, both the bride and the groom are walked down the aisle by their parents. This is different from the traditions of other religions.

Jewish couples are married under a structure called the chupah, which looks like a decorated tent. This symbolizes that the bride and groom are starting a new home together. This tradition comes from the story of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible.

A Jewish wedding contract called the ketubah is used. Traditionally, the ketubah was written in Aramaic, but many Jews now use Hebrew. Many couples keep the ketubah in a frame and hang it in their home. The rabbi or a guest reads the contract under the chupah after the rings are exchanged.

Hindu weddings have traditions that are unique to their culture. These include exchanging garlands (called Jaimala), which shows respect and acceptance. Another tradition is lighting a sacred fire (called Havan), which represents the couple’s promise to each other. Other traditions include taking seven steps together as a married couple, wearing henna on the hands and feet, and the groom placing a dot of sindur on the bride’s forehead.

Christian weddings share many traditions that are common in most weddings. The most important traditions include blessing and exchanging wedding bands and each partner saying their own wedding vows.

Most American Muslims follow the customs of their culture, but some also include traditions from American culture. Many Muslim brides wear white dresses, and grooms wear tuxedos. Most weddings include a group of family members in the wedding party, but friends are usually not part of the official group. Muslims do not exchange vows. Instead, they use a document called a nikah nama, which is a Muslim marriage contract.

Size and cost

In 2012, the average cost of a wedding in the United States, including the ceremony and reception but not the honeymoon, was about $18,000. This information comes from a large survey conducted by an online wedding website. Costs varied by region, with people in Manhattan spending more than three times the average cost, while people in Alaska spent less than half as much. The survey may have given a higher cost than the true average because the group of people surveyed might not have represented all wedding couples accurately.

In 2023, the average wedding in the United States had about 127 guests. Compared to earlier years, more couples chose to have smaller weddings with fewer than 50 guests or to elope. One effect of having fewer guests was that some couples decided to spend more money on a more luxurious event.

Types of weddings ceremonies

Traditional, formal, and religious weddings are the most common type of wedding in the United States. Many couples choose to have their wedding in the religious place of their faith because it is common for couples to share the same religion. Whether the couple is Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, or follows another religion, it is typical to have the ceremony in the religious place of that faith. However, some couples today do not share the same religion. These couples, called interfaith couples, can still have a traditional wedding ceremony. Religious leaders have become more willing to marry couples who follow different faiths.

Traditional or formal weddings often follow certain customs. These customs include wearing designer wedding dresses, groomsmen wearing tuxedos, sending detailed invitations, using beautiful flowers, hiring a limousine, and having a reception with fine food and live music after the ceremony.

Destination weddings are becoming more popular in the United States. These weddings, sometimes called "wedding aways" or "weddingmoons," allow couples to design their ceremony based on the location. Examples include beach weddings, weddings in cities like Las Vegas, New York City, or Niagara Falls, and other faraway places. Couples have many options for where to hold their wedding.

Destination weddings have several benefits. They allow couples to spend time with family and friends, and they make it easier to begin a honeymoon right after the wedding. While some destination weddings can be expensive, they are often less costly than weddings held at home.

Couples in which one or both partners are members of the United States Armed Forces may have a military wedding. In these weddings, the couple and sometimes guests wear military uniforms. A military wedding is considered formal, and guests are expected to dress formally. Often, guests who are also in the military wear their uniforms.

At a military wedding, ushers who are in the military may form an "arch of steel" using their swords or sabers. Only active duty service members can carry their swords or sabers. The arch is usually created at the end of the ceremony, and the head usher signals the formation by shouting "center face." After the couple walks through the arch, the ushers return to join the bridesmaids to leave with them. Civilian ushers may or may not be part of the arch, depending on the couple's choice.

An elopement is a type of wedding where the ceremony happens suddenly and in secret, with only the minimum number of witnesses required by law. Couples choose to elope for many reasons. In the 1930s, 46% of couples who eloped did so because their parents did not approve of the marriage, 20% to avoid attention, 12% due to financial issues, 8% because of an unexpected pregnancy, and 14% for other reasons.

In the 21st century, elopements have changed. While they still often involve few family and friends, modern elopements are not always kept secret. Couples may hire photographers or planners to record their ceremony.

Elopements are usually less expensive than traditional weddings. The simplest type, a civil ceremony at a courthouse, often costs between $100 and $200. If the couple plans a special event, the cost can increase. This may include hiring a photographer, paying for travel, buying a wedding dress or tuxedo, hiring a caterer, and other expenses. Some businesses specialize in organizing more elaborate elopements.

A growing trend in elopements includes high-end adventure experiences. Couples may hire planners who also act as officiants and guides to help them have a ceremony in remote or exotic locations. These luxury elopements, which can cost more than $10,000, offer a special experience that combines travel, photography, and a small ceremony. These weddings often cost less than traditional weddings.