An internet relationship is a connection between people who meet online and often know each other only through the Internet. These relationships are similar to pen pal relationships because both rely on written communication. Internet relationships can be romantic, based on friendship, or related to work. Like in-person relationships, internet relationships usually develop over time before being called a relationship. The main difference is that internet relationships are kept going through computers or online services, and the people involved may or may not meet in person. The term includes relationships that use text, video, audio, or virtual characters. These relationships can happen between people in different areas, countries, or even the same neighborhood who do not communicate face-to-face. Online spaces such as chatrooms and direct messages often help these connections form.

Technological advances

According to J. Michael Jaffe, the author of Gender, Pseudonyms, and CMC: Masking Identities and Baring Souls, "the Internet was originally created to help scientists and defense experts communicate more quickly, and it was not designed to be the widely used tool for personal communication it is today." However, new and improved tools that allow the general public to connect online are being developed and introduced regularly.

Instead of requiring many separate devices for different types of communication, online interaction is easier and less expensive when a single device, such as a mobile phone, tablet, laptop, or smartphone, includes Internet capabilities. People can use these devices to communicate through services and apps like Email, video calls (using FaceTime or Zoom), instant messages, social networking platforms, online forums, or virtual worlds.

Some online communication methods are asynchronous, meaning they do not happen in real time, such as YouTube. Others are synchronous, meaning they occur immediately, like Twitter. Synchronous communication happens when two or more people interact in real time through voice or text chat.

Digital boundaries and online relationship conflict

Internet-based relationships—those that start or are mostly kept through online communication—have become more common. This has made understanding digital boundaries and dealing with online conflicts important areas of study. Most communication happens through messaging apps, social media, or other online tools. Because of this, partners need to discuss how often they should talk, which platforms they prefer, and how available they should be to each other. Understanding digital clues, like how quickly someone responds, whether they have read a message, or the tone of their writing, helps build trust, closeness, and happiness in a relationship.

Differences in how people expect to communicate can cause problems. One person might want quick replies or daily video calls, while the other prefers less frequent contact. Without face-to-face cues like facial expressions or tone of voice, misunderstandings are more likely. Small issues can also grow quickly when people are not clear about their expectations.

Social media use is a common source of conflict. Partners might disagree about sharing their relationship online, interacting with others, or deciding how private or visible their relationship should be. Actions like liking a post, commenting, or replying late can be seen differently depending on each person’s views. These issues are especially important in long-distance or online-only relationships, where social media often helps people feel connected and reassured.

Cultural background affects how people handle digital boundaries. Ideas about privacy, showing emotions, and being open online vary between cultures. In some cultures, frequent communication is seen as a sign of care, while in others, it might feel too much. Learning about these differences can help reduce confusion in relationships between people from different cultures.

Personality, emotional needs, and past experiences also shape how people handle online communication. Someone who values independence might prefer less frequent contact, while someone who wants closeness might want more regular updates. When these preferences don’t match, it can cause misunderstandings or stress. Talking clearly about expectations and boundaries can help keep trust and stability in a relationship.

The situation of a relationship—like being far apart, having different time zones, or busy work schedules—can also affect how people communicate. People in long-distance relationships often rely on online tools to stay connected. How quickly they respond or are present online can feel especially important. Also, different platforms have different meanings: public posts might show commitment, while private messages might feel more personal.

Research shows that couples who discuss their digital boundaries clearly tend to have fewer misunderstandings and feel less jealous. On the other hand, unclear or ignored boundaries can lead to anxiety, distrust, and tiredness.

Although online communication can help people stay connected, it does not always replace the benefits of meeting in person. A study in Canada found that people with in-person friendships reported higher happiness than those with large online networks.

Studies on teenagers also show that strong friendships—whether online or in person—help emotional health. However, spending too much time on social media might be linked to feelings of sadness or anxiety. This suggests that the quality of interactions matters more than how many friends someone has online.

Understanding how to use technology well and communicating respectfully are important in online relationships. This includes knowing one’s own online habits, recognizing emotional needs, and clearly explaining expectations. Respecting each other’s digital boundaries can help avoid confusion, reduce arguments, and build trust in relationships that happen mostly online.

Types of relationships

Many types of internet relationships are possible today because of advances in technology.

Internet dating is important for many people around the world. One benefit of internet dating is that it may help reduce prostitution. People no longer need to look for casual relationships on the streets. Instead, they can find them online if they choose. Internet dating websites help people find love or other types of relationships. The creation of the internet and its improvements have made it easier for people to meet others they might not have met otherwise.

Uploading videos to the internet is not a new idea, but it became easier after 2008 because of YouTube. YouTube started in 2005 and helped other websites add video sharing. Internet dating sites have benefited from this because it is now easier to upload pictures and videos. These media are important for personal profiles on websites that help people form relationships, not just for dating. Older websites often require users to upload a picture, while newer sites allow users to share videos or live streams from their profiles. Including videos and pictures is now important for sexual social networking sites to keep users interested. People enjoy being able to view and share videos, especially when forming relationships or friendships.

Other technological changes, like apps and computer-based tools, have made online dating more popular. Both computers and apps help people connect with others for casual dating, long-term relationships, or entertainment. Apps like Tinder are portable and allow people to find matches quickly. These apps use location-based features through smartphones and other devices. It is estimated that more than 384.15 million people worldwide use dating apps, and this number is expected to grow.

According to an article in the New York Times, matchmaking through intermediaries has existed since the mid-1800s. Online dating became available in the mid-1990s with the first dating websites. These sites created a space for people to explore their sexuality more freely. Sam Yagan of OkCupid said the busiest time for dating sites is between New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day. Changes made by dating sites include helping people become more selective in choosing partners, increasing interracial marriages, and helping people accept diverse sexual identities. These sites provide a place where people who identify as sexual minorities, intersex, or gay can feel more free. Studies show that online dating can help people form closer and more intimate relationships by avoiding challenges that face-to-face interactions might have. Online relationships allow people to feel more free from power imbalances that exist in the real world.

Many different virtual sexual identities are shown in online profiles. The amount of personal information users are asked to provide is increasing. More people are exploring their sexual identities online, which they may not have done before because of social pressures or fear of consequences. Most websites with personal profiles require users to fill out sections with personal information. These sections often include multiple-choice questions. Because of the anonymity of online profiles, people are more likely to pretend to be certain types of people, even if they would not do so offline.

Many studies have looked at why people use the internet to find romantic partners. Robert J. Brym and Rhonda L. Lenton said that users of online games, websites, and virtual communities often hide their identities and learn more about themselves. With hidden identities, online users can be whoever they want at a given moment. They can explore being different from who they are offline.

A study in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication found that most people using online platforms are looking for fun, companionship, and someone to talk to. Many also want casual friendships or dating relationships. Fewer people use online platforms specifically to find romantic or marriage partners. This matches the socioemotional selectivity theory, which says that how people view time affects their social goals. Young adults make up a large part of online dating users, and for them, time is less important in forming relationships than for older people. Research suggests that casual, fun relationships are more common online.

However, a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2012 found that married people who met their spouses online reported more satisfying marriages than those who met offline. Marriages that began online were also less likely to end in divorce.

Faye Mishna, Alan McLuckie, and Michael Saini studied over 35,000 people aged 6 to 24 who had concerns about their online relationships. Of the 346 posts used in the study, the average age of users was 14. The study showed that children and youth consider their online relationships as real as their offline ones. It also found that the internet plays a key role in the romantic and sexual experiences of young users.

Canaan Partners reported that the dating industry earns about $3–4 billion each year from membership fees and advertisements. Over the past 20 years, the range of dating websites has grown. Some sites focus on matching people based on religion, sexual preference, race, or other factors.

Dating apps like Tinder have changed how people find online relationships. These apps are easy to use, often free, and help users connect with more people. This has improved the success rates of online dating.

Internet relationships and Law

The Russian scientist I.M. Rassolov describes internet relations as a type of information connection that begins, changes, and ends in cyberspace. People involved in these connections have rights and responsibilities on the Internet.

According to Rassolov, internet relations have the following characteristics:

• They depend on advanced technology and computer networks. These connections involve information about social topics found online.

• These relationships are created, changed, and ended in cyberspace.

• Participants can include traditional information and business intermediaries. They can also involve businesses with specific legal roles, such as service providers, companies that register domain names, and operators of digital platforms.

• These connections may involve people from different countries. Those involved may live in different places where laws vary, and their activities may be governed by different rules.

• These relationships may include artificial intelligence, with AI systems and robots participating indirectly, such as acting as "co-participants" or "co-conspirators."

• These connections develop at a certain stage in the growth of society, governments, and technology. Their purpose is to help manage tasks more efficiently.

Advantages

Studies show that sharing personal information can increase closeness in relationships. This helps build trust and fairness, which people look for in relationships. Online, it is often easier to share personal thoughts and feelings than in person, though not all shared information is always received positively. People may feel more comfortable sharing personal details online because they may face less criticism or judgment compared to face-to-face interactions. A researcher named Cooper called these types of relationships a "Triple A Engine," meaning internet relationships are easy to start, inexpensive, and private.

Online, certain challenges that might affect relationships in person, such as physical appearance, social anxiety, or speech difficulties, are not as important. These issues can make it harder for someone to connect with others in person, but online interactions can help avoid these barriers. Studies show that problems like these can strongly affect first impressions during in-person meetings, but this is not the case in online relationships. Also, because the internet connects people worldwide, individuals can find others who share their interests or preferences, even if there are no suitable people nearby. The internet allows people to interact with many others, increasing the chance of finding someone who is a good match. The internet also helps improve in-person and phone communication because people become more aware of each other's needs and strengthen their relationships through more frequent contact.

According to Joseph Walter's social information processing theory, online communication can work well for people. Although online conversations take about four times longer than in-person ones, this extra time allows people to think carefully and choose the best words to say. In digital communication, time-related cues are the only clues about how someone is feeling. Focusing on conversation rather than appearance, online interactions can develop deeper connections over time compared to in-person ones.

In The Forms of Capital, Pierre Bourdieu defined social capital as "the total of resources from relationships with others that are based on knowing and recognizing each other." Researchers have found that different types of social capital, such as friendships or neighborly ties, are linked to better mental health, including higher self-esteem and life satisfaction. Using social networking services can help improve and keep these relationships strong. For example, studies by Cummings, Lee, and Kraut showed that tools like instant messaging help college students stay close to high school friends after moving away for college.

Disadvantages

The Internet gives people chances to lie or hide the truth, especially when they are just starting to get to know someone and are not yet committed to a relationship. At these early stages, people often focus more on how they present themselves and what they want to achieve. After receiving many complaints about his website, Ashley Madison, founder Noel Biderman responded to claims that online dating sites like his were partly responsible for higher divorce rates and more casual relationships. Biderman explained that he created Ashley Madison because he noticed many people on traditional dating sites were already married or in relationships but pretended to be single to begin an affair.

In a research study about honesty and commitment in online relationships, Cornwell and Lundgren (2001) asked 80 people who used chat rooms about their real-life and online relationships. They found that people in real-life relationships felt more committed and saw them as more serious than their online relationships. However, both groups reported similar levels of happiness and belief that their relationships could help them grow emotionally. The researchers also asked participants if they had lied about things like their interests, age, background, appearance, or other details. Each "yes" answer was counted to create a measure of how much people lied.

A less noticed risk of online interactions is the danger that can come from hiding one’s identity. While hiding the truth can sometimes be harmless, it can also lead to serious problems, such as cyberbullying or cyberstalking. People may also use hidden identities to trick others into believing they are someone else, which is a common tactic used by online predators. Despite knowing these dangers, Mishna et al. found that many children and young people still engage in online relationships without thinking about the risks. Brym and Lenton also noted that even though people often hide their identities online, some choose to meet others in person.

Online relationships can be risky because the information people share about themselves does not always have to be true. Someone can create a completely different identity and pretend to be that person. This can hurt people who are honest about who they are and believe they are in a real relationship or friendship. This idea was recently shown on the television show Catfish: The TV Show.

Internet relationships can change how people define an affair. Some people think online relationships are the same as affairs, while others believe physical relationships are more serious. Trent Parker and Karen Wampler studied how men and women view online relationships differently. They found that many people see internet affairs as less serious than physical ones. Their study also showed that women often think activities like watching online pornography are more serious than men do. Internet affairs and physical affairs are similar because both involve having a relationship with someone else. The main difference is that in physical affairs, people usually meet in person, while in internet affairs, they rarely do. This can be an advantage for people who want to keep their relationships secret.

Effects on face-to-face interactions

Since the Internet was created, communication has become one of its most important uses. It has become a common part of daily life because it has made interactions more regular and better in quality. The Internet has also changed how people form and maintain relationships, and it has altered how people connect with others in their social lives. Online relationships have changed how people use strategies to keep their relationships strong, depending on how exclusive the Internet is in those relationships. In the past, postal services allowed communication without needing to be physically present, and the telephone allowed people to talk at the same time even if they were far apart. The Internet combined the benefits of both mail and telephone, using the speed of the telephone and the written form of mail. The way communication has evolved on the Internet has changed how people relate to each other.

Some people believe that increased use of Internet communication has a major negative effect because it can take away from true community. This is because online communication through computers is often seen as less personal than face-to-face communication. Others think that the Internet is an extension of offline activities. Many ways people use to communicate, such as taking turns or nodding, are not used online. Without body language, like pauses or gestures, people in instant messaging might type over each other’s messages without waiting for a signal. Also, messages can be misunderstood if grammar, tone, or context is unclear. Recently, people who use Internet-based communication have missed face-to-face interactions because traditional communication can improve relationships.

In 1991, Stone suggested that when virtual communities formed, they created a new type of social space where people could still meet face-to-face, but this required redefining the terms "meet" and "face-to-face." These virtual communities allowed people to easily connect with others, feel more supported, and gain emotional satisfaction from their families, communities, and society. However, this method of communication has clear problems. One major issue is that it cannot fully express people’s emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings.

In 1987, James R. Beniger questioned whether virtual communities were "real" or if they were "pseudo communities," which are groups that seem personal but are actually impersonal. He argued that people in virtual communities lack the honesty needed to create real online communities.

In many cases, the Internet as a social tool may cause negative effects, such as weaker social ties. A study from 1998 by Robert Kraut and others found that Internet users became less socially involved, which was linked to increased loneliness and depression. However, later research by Kraut showed fewer negative effects and even some positive outcomes, like improved social involvement and well-being. Over time, Internet use became more advanced.

During the Kraut study, researchers asked people who were socially isolated if they used the Internet to replace social skills needed for face-to-face interactions. They also asked people with strong social skills if they used the Internet to improve their ability to network. The study found that people with strong social skills benefited the most from Internet use. It concluded that the Internet did not help reduce the gap between people with and without social skills but instead made the differences larger.

This idea was later challenged by a study by McKenna and others, which showed that people who struggled socially used the Internet to form initial connections and explore their "true self" in online interactions. These online relationships often led to close, high-quality relationships that influenced face-to-face interactions. These findings suggest that while the Internet may not help socially isolated people improve their skills, it allows them to form relationships they might not have otherwise. When these online relationships become face-to-face, they are hard to distinguish from those that started in person. Future studies may help determine if society is becoming too dependent on the Internet for social connections. These relationships are also found in people with depression, thoughts of suicide, and other mental health issues. For example, people who are suicidal were more likely to use the Internet to find new relationships and seek help. Similar results were found for suicidal individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. These studies show that people who struggle to find others with similar interests, not just those who are socially inept, use the Internet to build stronger and broader relationships.