Philia (said "fil-ee-uh") is one of four types of love in ancient Greece, along with storge, agape, and eros. In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, philia is often described as friendship or affection. The opposite of philia is phobia, which means fear or dislike.

Aristotle's view

Gerard Hughes explains that in Books VIII and IX of his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle provides examples of philia, which refers to a type of friendship or affection. These relationships involve getting along well with others. At times, Aristotle suggests that true philia requires more than just being polite or respectful; it may involve genuine liking or care for another person.

When discussing a character or attitude that lies between being overly flattering or obedient on one side and being rude or argumentative on the other, Aristotle describes this as a balanced state. This passage shows that philia must be mutual, meaning it requires two people who feel the same way about each other. Therefore, philia cannot exist with inanimate objects, such as furniture or tools. However, Aristotle allows for philia with living things like pets, even though he notes that such relationships are not the same as those between people.

In his Rhetoric, Aristotle describes the act of philia (τὸ φιλεῖν) as a specific kind of behavior or action. John M. Cooper argues that this description supports a particular interpretation of philia.

Aristotle believes that philia is essential for achieving happiness. He writes that no one would choose to live without friends, even if they had all other good things in life. Additionally, he considers philia to be noble or admirable in itself.

Types

Aristotle classified friendships into three types based on the reasons people form them: friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure, and friendships of the good.

Friendships of utility are relationships formed without caring about the other person. For example, buying or selling items may require interacting with someone, but this usually involves only a simple, short-term connection. In modern language, people in such relationships are not considered friends but rather acquaintances. The main reason for communication in these relationships is to complete a transaction. If this reason ends, the relationship often ends unless another reason is found. Disagreements or conflicts may happen in these types of friendships.

Friendships of pleasure are based on enjoying time together. People who share hobbies or activities, such as drinking or playing games, may form these friendships. However, these friendships may end if the shared activity is no longer enjoyable or if people can no longer participate together.

Friendships of the good are relationships where both people value each other’s character. As long as both people maintain similar qualities, the friendship lasts because the motivation is caring for the other person. This is the highest form of philia, and in modern language, it might be called true friendship.

Not all philia relationships involve mutual feelings, Aristotle explained. Examples include a father’s love for a child, an elder’s care for a younger person, or a ruler’s concern for a subject. However, most philia relationships are mutual and balanced.

Self-sufficiency

Aristotle notices that there seems to be a disagreement between his ideas about philia (friendship) and what he says elsewhere (and what many people believed at the time) about the self-sufficient nature of a complete and happy life.

He gives several explanations. First, he argues that acting for others and caring about them is naturally good. He writes, "The excellent person works for his friends and his homeland and will even die for them if needed" (1169a19–20). According to this, a person who lives a fully virtuous and happy life must have others for whom they care—without them, life is not complete.

Second, Aristotle states that living with good people helps everyone grow in virtue. He explains, "Good people living together allow the development of virtue" (1170a12). Finally, he says that a friend is "another oneself," meaning that the happiness a virtuous person feels in their own life can also be found in the life of another virtuous person. He concludes, "Anyone who is to be happy must have excellent friends" (1170b19).

Altruism and egoism

For Aristotle, to experience the highest form of philia (a deep, virtuous friendship) for another person, one must first feel this same kind of love for oneself. This is because the person who receives philia is, in a way, "another version of yourself." However, this does not mean Aristotle supports selfishness. In fact, he explains that self-love and love for others are not conflicting. He clearly separates two types of self-love: one that is criticized, which involves seeking the most money, honors, or physical pleasures (as many people believe these are the best things to pursue), and another that is praised, which involves always striving to act justly, temperately, or in ways that align with virtues. This kind of self-love focuses on gaining what is truly good and noble for oneself.

Aristotle also believes, as Hughes explains, that the only reason for doing something that is truly justifiable is if it contributes to living a full and meaningful life. This might make acts of philia seem like they are done for selfish reasons, as they appear to help others while also increasing the person’s happiness. However, this confuses the nature of the action with the reason for doing it. A virtuous person helps a friend not because it will make her happy, but because she wants to help the friend. In doing so, both the friend and the person helping benefit, and the action itself is good, as well as its effect on the person’s happiness.