Matchmaking is the process of joining two or more people together, often for marriage. In this case, the person who helps is called a matchmaker or marriage broker. Matchmaking can be a job where someone is paid to help, or it can be done by religious leaders.
The word "matchmaking" is also used for similar pairing activities in other areas, such as sports like boxing, business, online video games, and connecting organ donors.
Practice
In some cultures, matchmakers have been and still are professional people who charge a fee for their services.
Historically, in Ashkenazi Jewish families, a professional marriage broker called a shadchan helped find matches. They used gossip and discretion to find suitable partners and help families form alliances for a fee. Shadchans, who could be men or women, acted like friendly messengers between families. This practice grew because of the unrest caused by the Crusades in Europe. Violence and destruction in Jewish communities disrupted daily life, so shadchans helped people connect and keep Jewish traditions alive. By the late 19th and early 20th centuries, shadchans lost their social respect and were criticized for turning marriage into a business. They were mocked in books and seen as outdated. By the late 1930s, Jewish matchmakers were more of a curiosity than a common practice in the United States.
In some cultures, Hindu astrologers were important advisors who helped families find suitable spouses. They used stars to support matches that parents approved of. Some matchmakers also used tarot cards to help find matches.
Social dances, like contra and square dances, were used in North America to help people meet. When farming families lived far apart and kept children working on farms, young people often met only at church or during social events. Matchmakers sometimes attended these events as chaperones or as people who helped families notice romantic relationships.
It is hard to know how much matchmakers influenced societies where marriages were not arranged, and where a man’s ability to support a family was more important than other factors.
In most Western cultures, clergy, such as priests and rabbis, likely played an important role in matchmaking. They continue to do so today, especially as trusted mediators in society. In Medieval Catholic communities, village priests and rabbis in Jewish communities had matchmaking as one of their duties. Today, in Orthodox Jewish communities, a system called shidduch helps match Jewish singles.
In the 2010s and 2020s, there has been renewed interest in traditional matchmaking. People are unhappy with dating apps, and shows like Million Dollar Matchmaker and Indian Matchmaking have increased interest in professional matchmakers. The pandemic also made it harder for people to meet naturally, leading to more demand for matchmakers. Some people prefer matchmakers who use human judgment and personal care instead of technology. These services may use personality tests or even genetics to find the best matches.
In Singapore, the government runs a program called the Social Development Unit (SDU), which offers professional advice and dating technology. This makes matchmakers part of an official system, and all citizens in Singapore can access some matchmaking services that were once only available to royalty or the wealthy.
As of July 2023, there were 50 Iranian dating agencies according to the Ministry of Islamic Culture and Guidance.
Other uses
Matchmaking is also used in the business world to connect compatible partners. These events may be called business to business (B2B) matchmaking, investor matchmaking, business speed dating, or brokerage events. Unlike social networking, which often uses online methods, these events focus on in-person meetings between business people. Trade fair organizers value this approach because it allows exhibitors to have pre-arranged meetings. Inspired by dating websites, some online B2B networking platforms now help people find potential business partners. Similarly, some sports leagues use matchmaking services to help athletes find compatible playing partners.