Marriage in Korea is similar to marriage in many other countries. It combines traditions that have been around for thousands of years with ideas from other parts of the world.
Marriage in pre-modern Korea
The practice of living with the wife’s family after marriage, called matrilocality, was common in Korea during the Goguryeo period. This tradition continued during the Goryeo period and ended in the early Joseon period. A Korean saying, “entering jangga” (the house of the father-in-law), reflects this practice from the Goguryeo period.
During the Goryeo period, marriages among the aristocracy were often arranged for political or economic reasons. King Taejo, who founded the Goryeo dynasty, married 29 queens to form alliances with other noble families. However, he mostly married his daughters to their half brothers instead of using them for alliances. This practice continued with his successors. The Mongol Empire later ended this tradition, and instead, the Mongol and Korean royal families exchanged princesses in marriage. For example, King Chungnyeol married a daughter of Kublai Khan, the Mongol ruler. Cousin marriages were common in the early Goryeo period, and non-royal aristocrats also married their daughters to half brothers from different mothers. Over time, these related marriages were banned, and people who married close relatives were not allowed to work in government jobs. Eventually, such marriages were labeled as improper, though they still occurred.
Unlike the later Joseon period and modern times, when married couples typically lived with the husband’s family, it was common in the Goryeo period for husbands to live with their wives and their parents after marriage. Weddings were held at the bride’s family home, and most people married in their late teens, with aristocrats marrying earlier than commoners. These ceremonies included gift exchanges and banquets to show the bride’s family’s wealth. There was no payment of bride wealth or dowry. Matchmakers usually arranged marriages. Goryeo society had strict social classes, and a person’s status was determined by the status of both their parents. After marriage, both the bride and groom remained part of their original family and their new family. Marriages did not always split families, and many families preferred to keep their daughters after marriage, with or without their husbands. Husbands might choose to live with their wives’ families to inherit property from in-laws. Inheritance was not based on the eldest son, and both sons and daughters received equal shares from their parents.
Although men could have multiple wives, all wives and their children had equal rights to inherit property. Marriages could be ended by either spouse. A woman who married multiple times might be seen as immoral, but Goryeo society was not overly strict about marriage, compared to Chinese standards of the time. Widows could remarry after a mourning period, and children of widowers stayed with their mothers and their families.
At the start of the Joseon dynasty, rules were introduced to copy practices from imperial China, which created a clear distinction between a primary wife and other wives. A primary wife had to be a virgin when she married and could not come from a low-class family if her husband was noble. This rule forced noblemen to choose one of their existing wives as the primary wife. Primary wives could not be divorced or replaced, and their rankings could not be changed. These rules aimed to make social classes more distinct. From then on, elites often married their first wives from other noble families and chose secondary wives from lower classes, increasing the gap between the aristocracy and commoners.
During this time, living with the husband’s family after marriage became the norm due to changes in laws about mourning and inheritance. These changes included banning marriages between close relatives, first starting with matrilateral cousins, then extending to second cousins, and finally prohibiting marriage between people with the same surname by 1669. In 1427, a law was adopted from China that set the minimum marriage age at 15 for men and 14 for women. However, if a parent was sick or over 50 years old, the age could be lowered to 12. Officials believed that marrying too young would prevent people from understanding their marital duties or raising children properly. This law was often ignored, and aristocrats tended to marry younger than commoners. Concerns about a shortage of marriageable women led to laws that punished families for not marrying their daughters at the right time.
Marriage during Japanese colonial rule
Recent research shows how Western-style Protestant church weddings changed from religious ceremonies led by missionaries to popular traditions in cities during the 1910s–1930s, when Japan ruled Korea. Using materials like wedding advertisements from Tonga ilbo, records from Presbyterian and Methodist missions, and photographs, historian Hajin Jun studied the first widely reported church wedding: Deacon Pak’s 1917 ceremony in rural Hwach’ŏn. Jun also examined the rise of “new-style (sinsik) weddings” among professionals in Seoul. Wedding costs increased greatly, with a rented suit costing as much as a week’s factory pay, and buying one could take a full year’s wages. This led some cultural leaders to criticize “Amen-style” weddings as wasteful, focused on religion, and overly showy. In response, groups like the Enlightenment Fraternity (1922) and Ko Yŏng-hwan (1931) suggested cheaper, non-religious options, such as civic weddings and simple Korean-style ceremonies, to create modern traditions without religious symbols. Jun explains these debates happened during Japanese rule: in the 1920s, less strict newspaper rules allowed Korean newspapers to discuss disagreements between Protestants and non-Christians about wedding practices in detail. Politically, laws like the 1915 Regulations on Religious Propagation and the 1934 Guidelines on Ritual Practice gave the Japanese Government-General legal power to monitor and standardize ceremonies, including weddings, for all people under its control. As a result, changes in wedding traditions became a way for Korean intellectuals to explore modern ideas while dealing with an occupying power that both allowed and controlled religious differences.
Marriage in North Korea
After the communist government was formed in North Korea in the late 1940s, rules about families in North and South Korea began to become different. The North Korean government quickly created new laws that changed how family matters were handled. One reason for these new laws was ideas that promoted equal rights for men and women. However, many experts say that North Korea has not yet achieved true equality between men and women.
Marriage is not officially recognized before a couple is married. In North Korea, boys can marry at age 18, and girls can marry at age 17. Unlike in South Korea, there are no laws that either require or stop marriages between people who are related by blood or other family connections. Divorce is allowed, but it must be approved by government officials.
In the late 2010s, reports showed that most adults over the age of 30 in North Korea were married (more than 96%), and very few people were divorced or separated (less than 1% of the population). Arranged marriages, where families choose a partner for someone, are still common in North Korea.
Marriage in South Korea
Marriage in South Korea is currently only allowed between people of the opposite sex, as same-sex marriages are not recognized. People who are 18 years old or older may marry with the permission of their parents or guardians. If no permission is given, the legal age to marry is 20 in Korean age, which is 19 in international age. The age at which someone can legally agree to sexual activity is 16. South Korea also recognizes "De Facto Marriages," which are similar to "Common Law Marriages." These are relationships where couples have not officially registered their marriage but have publicly announced their relationship as a marriage, held a public wedding ceremony, or lived together as if they were married.
Before 2005, marriage between two people from the same clan was considered illegal in South Korea due to incest taboos. Marriage between people with the same surname was also socially discouraged. In the mid-1990s, about 55% of South Koreans shared one of five common surnames: Kim, Park, Lee, Choi, and Jung. About 40% of South Koreans belonged to one of three major clans: the Gimhae Kim clan, Jeonju Yi clan, and Miryang Park clan. These rules were influenced by similar taboos in Tang China during Korea’s late Joseon dynasty, which aimed to follow Confucian ideals of governance and social order.
Traditional Korean weddings are based on Confucian values. Every part of the wedding, from the arrangement of the marriage to the ceremony and celebrations, follows specific and detailed steps. In traditional culture, marriage was decided by the elders of the bride and groom’s families. Confucian values emphasize the importance of family and customs over individual desires. Marriage was considered the most important event in a person’s life, not only uniting two individuals but also two families. For elite families, marriage was also a way to maintain or improve social status. Because of this, a lot of time was spent preparing for the wedding before the ceremony.
The first step in a traditional wedding is called "euihon" (議婚), or matchmaking. The families of the bride and groom discuss the possibility of marriage. Factors such as social status, personality, appearance, achievements, and predictions from a fortuneteller are considered. The process begins when the groom’s family sends a marriage proposal letter, and the bride’s family responds with a letter agreeing to the proposal. If the bride’s family agrees, the groom’s family sets a date for the ceremony. This step is called "naljja seoljeong" (날짜설정), or date setting. The groom’s birthdate, based on the lunar calendar, is written on paper and wrapped in bamboo branches tied with red and blue thread. The package is then wrapped in red and blue cloth and sent to the bride’s family. A fortuneteller uses the groom’s birthdate to choose a wedding date, which is then sent back to the groom’s family.
The final step before the ceremony is called "napchae" (納采), or exchanging valuables. Once the date is set, the groom sends a box called "ham" (函) to the bride. Inside the box are three items: the "honseo" (婚書), or marriage papers; the "chaedan" (彩緞), a set of red and blue cloth; and the "honsu" (婚需), which includes other gifts like household items, jewelry, and clothing. The most important item is the marriage papers, which the bride keeps for life and is buried with her after death. The red and blue cloth represents the Yin/Yang philosophy. The other gifts are given to the bride’s family.
In ancient times, weddings were held in the bride’s home or yard. The groom traveled by horse to the bride’s house, and after the ceremony, the couple traveled in a palanquin to the groom’s parents’ home. Both the bride and groom wore formal court costumes, which were only allowed to be worn on special occasions. Hand lanterns were used to light the way from the groom’s home to the bride’s home the night before the wedding. The groom’s family brought a chest filled with gifts for the bride’s family. Wedding geese symbolize a happy and lasting marriage. Cranes, which represent long life, may appear on the bride’s sash. Wooden carvings of Mandarin ducks, called wedding ducks, are used in ceremonies because they symbolize peace, loyalty, and many children.
Traditional wedding attire for women includes a "jeogori" (저고리), a short jacket with long sleeves, and a "chima" (치마), a full-length, high-waisted skirt. Silk boat-shaped shoes and white cotton socks are worn. The bride’s outfit may include a white sash with symbols or flowers, and a headpiece or crown. A decoration called "norigae" (노리개) is tied to the skirt or jacket’s ribbon. The knot on top is called "maedeup" (매듭). Men wear a jacket called "jeogori," trousers, and an overcoat. The jacket has loose sleeves, and the trousers are wide and tied at the ankles. A vest may be worn over the shirt, and a black hat is sometimes worn. The groom’s wedding costume is called "gwanbok."
In larger cities, luxury hotels have "wedding halls" or ballrooms used for ceremonies. These rooms are decorated with wedding themes and rented to couples. Other wedding halls are separate facilities that can host multiple weddings. Today, many couples have a Western-style ceremony first, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, followed by a smaller traditional Korean wedding.
Unlike hotels or churches, which must be flexible for other events, independent wedding halls focus only on weddings and can offer specific themes. Wedding ceremonies in luxury hotels were banned by the government in 1980, allowed