A love letter is a written way to show love. No matter how it is given, the letter can be as short and simple as a few words or as long as a detailed explanation of feelings.

History

One of the oldest known love letters comes from Indian mythology, which is more than 5,000 years old. It is mentioned in the Bhagavatha Purana, book 10, chapter 52. The letter was written by Princess Rukmini to King Krishna and delivered by her messenger, Sunanda, who was from a religious group.

Examples from Ancient Egypt include both formal and simple letters. One letter was written by a royal widow named Ankhesenamun to the king of the Hittites, Egypt's old enemy, asking him to send one of his sons to marry her. Another letter said, "Let me bathe in thy presence, that I may let thee see my beauty in my tunic of finest linen, when it is wet." In Imperial China, a heroine wrote to her childhood sweetheart after being told she would marry someone else. Her letter was so well-written that her sweetheart said, "Everything breathes the style of a Li T'ai Po. How on earth can anyone want to marry her off to some humdrum clod?"

In Ancient Rome, the way love letters were written and received was a key part of Ovid's book called Ars Amatoria or Art of Love. The love letter was central to Ovid's ideas about love. Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antoninus and his tutor, Marcus Cornelius Fronto, exchanged love letters with each other.

During the Middle Ages, the skill of writing love letters was taught formally. This included how to begin and end a letter. Salutations in love letters ranged from "To the noble and discreet lady P., adorned with every elegance, greeting" to "Half of my soul and light of my eyes […] greeting, and that delight which is beyond all word and deed to express." The content of the letters varied from unclear messages to imaginative dreams, including direct statements like "that you care for me the way I care for you."

At the start of the 18th century, writing love letters was still taught as a skill, as seen in Richard Steele's Spectator. However, the Romantics later questioned the artificial nature of love letters, saying, "'A love-letter? My letter – a love-letter? It […] came straight from my heart.'"

In Victorian America, people were expected to keep expressions of love and affection private. Writing love letters was a common way for people to court, especially among the upper and middle classes. Books, magazines, and guides gave advice on how to write love letters, while also encouraging writers to be natural and sincere. Reading and writing love letters was considered a very personal experience, like being with the person they loved.

Love letters remained popular in the first half of the 20th century. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote about a 1920s flapper who was focused on writing "non-committal, marvelously elusive letters that only a young girl can write." Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville-West exchanged flirtatious love letters, which were part of their complicated relationship. Nigel Nicolson, Sackville-West's son, said that Woolf's book Orlando was "the longest and most charming love-letter in literature" because Woolf was inspired by Sackville-West.

Before modern technology, letters were one of the few ways for people in long-distance relationships to stay in touch, especially during wartime. The stress of such relationships could make people write letters that expressed love, longing, and desires. Some people even kept already-read letters to read again during breaks in battle for comfort. Others avoided writing letters to protect themselves, leaving them folded away.

During World War II, soldiers like Gilbert Bradley and Gordon Bowsher exchanged intimate love letters, which are now kept in the Oswestry Town Museum. Because homosexuality was illegal in England during the 1940s, many love letters from that time are not available.

In the second half of the 20th century, as society became more open and technology advanced, writing love letters became less common. However, many couples still wrote love letters. For example, Rachel Carson and Dorothy Freeman exchanged about 900 letters over 12 years. Some letters were destroyed to protect their privacy, but others were published in 1995.

Other famous love letter-writers from the 20th century include anthropologists Margaret Mead and Ruth Benedict, painters Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, poets Allen Ginsberg and Peter Orlovsky, and First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt and journalist Lorena Hickok.

With the arrival of the Internet, written expressions of love made a partial comeback. The phrase "You've Got Mail," from AOL Instant Messenger, became the title of a 1998 romantic comedy. By the 2000s, websites even gave advice on how to write love letters, showing how out of fashion they had become.

In mid-2000, a computer worm named ILOVEYOU spread by sending harmful emails that pretended to contain love letters.

Written communication still has an advantage: it allows people to express thoughts and feelings as they come to mind. For some, this is easier than speaking face-to-face. Writing a letter also shows the recipient how important the writer's feelings are.

In contrast, messages sent through mobile phones or social media often use short, simple language. A sign-off like "LOL! B cool B N touch bye" might sound like it was written by someone who is not fully engaged, such as a "disinterested young mother."

Form

A love letter does not have a set format, length, or type of writing. What matters most is the feelings shared and how they are expressed, which decide if a letter is considered a love letter.

The emotions in love letters can vary widely, including admiration, devotion, sadness, anger, confidence, impatience, regret, and acceptance. These letters are not always written in simple prose. Historically, poems—especially sonnets—were often used. Shakespeare’s sonnets are well-known examples. Books such as The Book of Love: Writers and Their Love Letters (1992) and Love Letters of Great Men (2008) explore how love letters are written. Cathy Davidson, the author of the first book, says that after studying many love letters, she found it hard to describe differences in how men and women express love.

After a relationship ends, returning or burning love letters can help the person who received them or hurt the one who wrote them. In the past, returning a letter was sometimes a way to protect one’s reputation, especially if it was written by a woman. Such letters could be embarrassing or even used for blackmail, a common idea during the Victorian era.

While scented paper is sold for love letters, some writers choose to use their own perfume to connect the letter to their presence and the emotions tied to being with them.