John Mordechai Gottman (born April 26, 1942) is an American psychologist and retired professor of psychology at the University of Washington. His research studies how relationships can stay strong or end in divorce by analyzing how couples interact. Gottman’s work focuses on helping relationships function better and reducing harmful behaviors that hurt relationships. His research has also helped develop important ideas about social sequence analysis.

In 1996, Gottman helped start and lead The Gottman Institute with his wife, psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman. Together, they also co-founded Affective Software Inc., a program designed to help more people access marriage and relationship counseling.

Personal life

John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic. His parents were Orthodox Jewish, and his father was a rabbi in Vienna before World War II. Gottman attended a Lubavitch Yeshiva elementary school in Brooklyn. He practices Conservative Judaism, follows Jewish dietary laws (called kosher), and observes Shabbat.

In 1987, he married Julie Schwartz, a psychotherapist. He had two previous marriages that ended in divorce. He has a daughter named Moriah Gottman. John and Julie Gottman currently live in Washington state.

Education and work experience

John Gottman earned his bachelor's degree in Mathematics-Physics from Fairleigh Dickinson University in 1962. In 1964, he received his master's degree in Mathematics-Psychology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He earned a second master's degree in Clinical Psychology-Mathematics in 1967. In 1971, he completed his PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin.

At Fairleigh Dickinson University, Gottman worked as an instructor in the mathematics department, a research assistant in the physics department, and a researcher in the engineering school. At the Lawrence Radiation Laboratory, he was a computer programmer and mathematician. He also worked as a program evaluator and research designer for the Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction. In 1981, Gottman became a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois. He was also a professor of psychology at the University of Washington for 16 years. Since 2002, Gottman, now an emeritus professor of psychology at UW, has been the executive director of the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle.

Awards and honors

Gottman has won four awards from the National Institute of Mental Health. These include the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Distinguished Research Scientist Award, the American Family Therapy Academy Award for Most Notable Contributor to Family Systems Research, the American Psychological Association Division of Family Psychology Presidential Citation for Outstanding Lifetime Research Achievement, and the National Council of Family Relations 1994 Burgess Award for Outstanding Career in Theory and Research. Additionally, Gottman was named one of the Psychotherapy Networker's Top 10 Most Influential Therapists over the past 25 years. In 2021, Gottman received an honorary Doctor of Science degree from the University of Wisconsin–Madison.

Works

John Gottman has written more than 190 research papers and is the author or co-author of 40 books, including:

• Nan Silver; Gottman, John (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: What You Can Learn from the Breakthrough Research to Make Your Marriage Last. New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 978-0-671-86748-5.
• Joan Declaire; Gottman, John (1997). The Heart of Parenting: How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child. New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 978-0-684-80130-8.
• The Marriage Clinic (W.W. Norton, 1999), W W Norton page.
• Nan Silver; Gottman, John (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 978-0-609-80579-4. – a New York Times bestseller.
• Gottman, John; Joan Declaire (2001). The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers. New York: Crown Publishers. ISBN 978-0-609-60809-8.
• Anne Gartlan; Julie Schwartz Gottman; Joan Declaire (2006). Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship. Random House Audio. ISBN 978-0-7393-3237-5.
• Julie Schwartz Gottman; Gottman, John (2008). And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 978-1-4000-9738-8.
• Gottman, John (2011). The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0-393-70595-9.
• Gottman, John; Silver, Nan (2012). What Makes Love Last. New York: Simon & Schuster. p. 305. ISBN 978-1451608489.
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz (2015). 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy. New York: W.W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0393708356.
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz; Abrams, Douglas; Abrams, Rachel Carlton (2016). The Man's Guide to Women. New York: Rodale. ISBN 978-1-62336-184-6.
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz (2018). The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the "Love Lab". New York: W.W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0393712742.
• Gottman, John (2019). Eight Dates: to keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting. Penguin Books, Limited. ISBN 978-0241988350.

Critiques

Experts have criticized Gottman for claiming his research can accurately predict divorce. This type of research usually involves using math to find patterns in data, not predicting future events. In 2001, professor Richard E. Heyman from New York University studied 15 models that claim to predict divorce. He found problems with these models, such as fitting data too closely (called overfitting) and using small sample sizes (60 couples in Gottman's 1998 study). Heyman explained that a 90% prediction might not be as accurate when considering mistakes in predictions (false positives) and the fact that divorce is rare. He also said it is not correct to claim a model can predict future events without testing it on new data. Heyman showed this by creating a model that did not work well when tested on new data. Gottman did not respond to these criticisms. Journalist Laurie Abraham also questioned the accuracy of Gottman's method. She wrote, "Gottman's work used data from couples whose outcomes were already known, not predicting future events. This does not mean such formulas are not useful, but the next step in science is to test the formula on new data. This is especially important with small data sets, like 57 couples, because patterns may appear meaningful but could be random. Gottman never did this." The Gottman Relationship Institute states that six of seven of Gottman's studies met a different definition of prediction, where variables were chosen in advance, but their specific connection to divorce was not required.