To Say Nothing of the Dog: or, How We Found the Bishop's Bird Stump at Last is a 1997 humorous science fiction novel written by Connie Willis. The book uses the same setting, such as time-traveling historians, that Willis also used in her earlier works, including Fire Watch (1982), Doomsday Book (1992), and Blackout/All Clear (2010).

The novel won both the Hugo and Locus Awards in 1999. It was also nominated for the Nebula Award in 1998.

Source of title

The book's title is based on the subtitle of a classic work from 1889, as the author explains in the dedication: "To Robert A. Heinlein, who, in his book Have Space Suit—Will Travel, first introduced me to Jerome K. Jerome's Three Men in a Boat, To Say Nothing of the Dog."

Plot

Ned Henry is a time traveler from the year 2057 who visits 1940 to study Coventry Cathedral after it was damaged during the Coventry Blitz of World War II. His goal is to find the "Bishop's bird stump," an object of interest that is not clearly described by the narrator. Ned experiences confusion caused by "time-lag," a condition similar to jet lag that happens when traveling through time. After failing to find the stump, he returns to his time in 2057 at Oxford University.

The Bishop's bird stump is needed for a project to rebuild the cathedral, funded by Lady Schrapnell, a wealthy American woman with strong leadership skills. She has gathered many historians from Oxford University to restore the cathedral exactly as it was before the destruction. Before making more time-travel trips, Ned must recover from his time-lag and is sent to the hospital. However, Lady Schrapnell insists he return to 1940 again. Before this happens, Professor Dunworthy, who manages the time machine, decides to send Ned to 1888 instead for his rest.

Professor Dunworthy has a hidden reason for sending Ned to 1888. Another time traveler may have broken the rules of time travel by bringing an object from 1888 to 2057. Scientists believe that moving objects through time could cause problems, so they have safeguards to stop this. If an object is not returned to its original time, it might damage the timeline.

Ned, who only knows about history from the 20th century, is given a quick lesson about the Victorian Era while being told about his mission. His confusion grows because the instructions are unclear, and his time-lag worsens. He is sent to 1888 without knowing exactly where he needs to go or who he should meet.

Time travel has a system called "slippage," which moves travelers to the correct time or place if something goes wrong. Ned arrives in 1888 at the right time, but he is not at the estate where his contact should be. Instead, he ends up at a railway station 30 miles away. There, he meets Terence St. Trewes, a young student from Oxford, and mistakes him for his contact. They agree to travel by boat on the River Thames to Muchings End, where Terence plans to meet his love, Tocelyn "Tossie" Mering. Along the way, they travel past locks, beautiful scenery, and other boaters, inspired by the story Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome.

When Ned arrives at Muchings End, his contact recognizes him. She is Verity Kindle, who is pretending to be Tossie's cousin. Lady Schrapnell sent Verity to read Tossie's diary because Tossie, an ancestor of Lady Schrapnell, wrote about a special event involving the Bishop's bird stump at the first Coventry Cathedral. This event led her to run away with a mysterious man named "Mr. C" to America. At this point, Ned learns that the object he must return is Tossie's pet cat, Princess Arjumand. Cats no longer exist in 2057 because of a disease that spread many years ago.

Ned and Verity work to fix the problems caused by their time-traveling actions. They must learn about the people they meet and how their descendants affected history. They also try to solve the mystery of "Mr. C." Their actions cause changes in history, from the Battle of Waterloo to World War II and even to 2018, when time travel was first invented. After several attempts to correct these changes, Ned and Verity end up in different time periods and struggle to return to 1888. When they finally return, they find that "Mr. C" has been identified, and some relationships between characters have changed. Clues from their journey help them discover the location of the Bishop's bird stump in 2057.

In 2057, just before the celebration of the cathedral's reconstruction, the location of the Bishop's bird stump proves to scientists and historians that, in some cases, objects can be moved forward in time. This discovery leads to new opportunities for recovering items that were lost, destroyed, or no longer exist in the future.

Characters

• Ned Henry, a 21st-century historian, was asked by Lady Schrapnell to find the "bishop's bird stump" using any method possible. This includes attending every jumble sale held in Coventry in 1940.
• Verity Kindle, a historian who studies 1930s detective fiction, pretends to be Verity Brown, a distant relative of Colonel and Mrs. Mering, to read their daughter’s diary. Because of a time slippage, she brings something back to 2057, starting a series of events.
• Professor James Dunworthy, a historian involved in the Time Travel program since its start, also appears in the story "Fire Watch" and the novels Doomsday Book and Blackout/All Clear.
• Finch, Dunworthy’s clever and efficient secretary, later joins other time travelers in 1888. He pretends to be the butler at the Chattisbournes’ estate, neighbors of the Merings. He finds the role easy because he is skilled at organizing and serving.
• Tocelyn "Tossie" Mering, a beautiful and intelligent woman, is described as flighty, spoiled, and ignorant due to her parents’ influence. She is Lady Schrapnell’s ancestor. Her memoirs, including her visit to St. Michael’s Church in Coventry (later Coventry Cathedral), inspired Lady Schrapnell to rebuild the cathedral. By the time Ned Henry arrives, Tossie is involved with Oxford student Terence St. Trewes, and Ned must keep them apart.
• Colonel and Mrs. Mering: The Colonel retired from the Indian Army and now collects exotic goldfish. Mrs. Mering is a hypochondriac and a fan of spiritualism. The novel credits her with inventing the "jumble sale," a charity event where people donate household items instead of homemade goods like cakes or crafts.
• Terence St. Trewes, an Oxford student Ned meets in 1888, appears to have no money but is actually a minor aristocrat with a large future income, making him appealing to Tossie’s parents. Historians later learn Terence is supposed to marry Maud Peddick, the niece of his tutor, and their descendant plays a role in the bombing of Berlin, which changed the course of the war.
• Professor Peddick, Terence’s tutor, accompanies Terence and Ned on a river trip. He is an expert on exotic fish and military history, which earns him the Colonel’s approval and an invitation to stay at the Merings’ home. He also strongly supports the Great Man Theory of history.
• Professor Overforce, another Oxford tutor and Peddick’s rival, is not present but is often mentioned as a supporter of Social Darwinism.
• Baine, the Merings’ butler, is actually a pseudonym he used while working for the Chattisbournes. Employers often give servants fake names for various reasons, such as avoiding learning new names or maintaining social preferences. Baine previously worked for Lord Dunsany under his real name, but Mrs. Mering refuses to use it. Baine is highly intelligent, well-read, and efficient, much like the fictional character Jeeves.
• T.J. Lewis, a computer science student, cannot be sent back in time by Lady Schrapnell because he is Black. This is fortunate because he is needed to run simulations to assess the risks of space-time disruption.
• Lady Schrapnell, a wealthy American with strong determination, is obsessed with rebuilding Coventry Cathedral exactly as it was before its destruction, in honor of her ancestor, Tocelyn Mering. She insists on precision, believing "God is in the details," including the recovery of the "bishop’s bird stump," a seemingly indestructible object that disappeared during an air raid.
• Elizabeth Bittner, the widow of the last Bishop of Coventry, was a pioneer in time travel in the early 21st century. She was also a celebrated beauty who influenced men, including Dunworthy. Ned compares her to the fictional character Zuleika Dobson for her effect on others.
• Princess Arjumand, Tossie’s pet cat named after Mumtaz Mahal, plays a major role in the story after nearly drowning and disrupting the space-time continuum.
• Cyril, Terence’s pet bulldog, also plays a major role throughout the narrative.