Self-love, which means caring about one's own happiness or well-being, has been seen in different ways over time. Some believe it is a basic need for all people, while others think it can be a negative trait, similar to selfishness or excessive pride. However, in the 20th and 21st centuries, self-love has come to be viewed more positively because of events and movements such as pride parades, the Self-Respect Movement, self-love protests, the hippie era, the modern feminist movement (third and fourth waves), and the growing focus on mental health. These efforts have helped promote self-love as an important part of personal growth, support groups, and programs aimed at reducing substance abuse and preventing suicide.

Views

The Hindu arishadvargas (major sins) are actions that benefit a person in the short term but cause harm over time. These include mada (pride). Jainism teaches that the four kashaya (passions) prevent people from escaping the cycle of life and death.

Gautama Buddha (about 563–483 BC) and Buddhism believe that selfish desires are the source of all harm. However, this idea is balanced with karuṇā (compassion).

Confucius (551–479 BC) and Confucianism value the well-being of society more than the needs of the individual.

Yang Zhu (440–360 BC) and Yangism believed that wei wo, or "everything for myself," was the only virtue needed for personal growth. Most information about Yangism comes from critics who opposed Yang's ideas.

Aristotle (384–322 BC) wrote about self-love (philautia) in the Nicomachean Ethics and Eudemian Ethics. In Nicomachean Ethics Book 9, Chapter 8, he argued that people who love themselves for selfish gain are harmful, but those who love themselves to live virtuously are the best kind of people. He noted that selfish self-love is more common than virtuous self-love.

Cicero (106–43 BC) believed that people who love themselves without considering others are likely to fail.

Jesus (about 4 BC–30 AD) taught his followers to love God and others selflessly, following his example. In Mark 12:31 and Matthew 22:39, he also taught people to love their neighbors as themselves, suggesting that self-love is acceptable. Paul the Apostle (about 5–64/65 AD) wrote that excessive self-love was harmful to loving God. The author of the New Testament letter of James shared the same belief.

Christian monk Evagrius Ponticus (345–399) listed excessive self-love (pride) as one of eight key sins. Pope Gregory I later adapted this list into the "seven deadly sins," which became important in Western church teachings. In this system, pride is considered the most serious sin. This idea was strongly shown in Dante’s The Divine Comedy.

Augustine (354–430) believed that pride was a distortion of normal self-love, which he saw as a natural part of human nature.

Sikhs believe that the Five Thieves are the main weaknesses that harm people’s natural ability to make good choices. These selfish desires cause many problems.

In 1612, Francis Bacon criticized people who loved themselves so much they would destroy their own homes for selfish gain.

In the 1660s, Baruch Spinoza wrote in Ethics that protecting one’s life was the highest virtue.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712–1778) identified two types of self-love: "amour de soi," the drive to survive, and "amour-propre," the desire for others’ approval. He believed the drive to survive was the foundation of all human behavior.

The concept of "ethical egoism" was introduced by Henry Sidgwick in The Methods of Ethics (1874). He compared egoism to utilitarianism, explaining that egoism focuses on personal happiness, while utilitarianism seeks the greatest happiness for all.

In 1890, psychologist William James studied self-esteem in Principles of Psychology. Later, Robert H. Wozniak explained that James described self-love as involving three parts: the material self (possessions and family), the social self (relationships), and the spiritual self (inner thoughts).

In 1956, psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm argued that loving oneself is different from being arrogant or selfish. He believed that true self-love involves caring for oneself and taking responsibility, which helps people love others.

In the 1960s, Erik H. Erikson wrote about the importance of valuing the self after the rise of narcissism. Carl Rogers believed that successful therapy helped people feel happy with who they are.

In 2003, Aiden Gregg and Constantine Sedikides defined self-love or self-worth as a person’s belief about whether they are inherently good or bad.

Mental health

A lack of self-love can increase the risk of suicide, according to the American Association of Suicidology. In 2008, the association studied how low self-esteem and a lack of self-love are connected to thinking about or trying to take one’s own life. The study explained that self-love includes "how a person feels about themselves (self-based self-esteem)" and "how a person believes others feel about them (other-based self-esteem)." The study found that depression, hopelessness, and low self-esteem are risk factors for thinking about suicide. It also stated that even when depression and hopelessness are present, low self-esteem can further increase the risk of thinking about suicide.

Promotion

Self-love became more widely discussed during the Beat Generation of the 1950s and the early Hippie movement of the 1960s. After World War II ended and people saw the damage caused by the war, along with the ongoing Vietnam War, societies in the West, especially in North America, started encouraging messages like "peace and love." These messages aimed to create positive energy and address environmental problems, such as the construction of oil pipelines and the effects of pollution from the greenhouse effect.

These worsening living conditions led to protests around the world. These protests mainly focused on ending the war but also promoted a better environment, influenced by how groups of people can affect each other. People in this post-war time were open to new ideas and began supporting freedom, harmony, and a peaceful future. These protests happened on nearly every continent, including the United States (especially in New York City and California), England, and Australia. Their hard work, determination, and care for others made this generation known as people who supported peace and lived with a carefree attitude.

The feminist movement started in the 19th century but became more powerful during the second wave, which included protests for women's rights. These protests helped women gain the right to vote. These movements promoted equality and encouraged women to value themselves by understanding and accepting self-love. Elizabeth Cady Stanton used the Declaration of Independence as a model in her essay called "Declaration of Sentiments." In the essay, she wrote that "all men and women are created equal" and that rights like life, liberty, and happiness are important. She argued that without these rights, it is hard for people to feel self-worth or self-love. This essay suggests that today, some women still struggle with self-esteem and fear of self-love because of past problems related to gender roles.

In the United States, self-love has also been important for communities of Color. During the 1970s Black-Power movement, the slogan "Black is beautiful!" helped African-Americans reject unfair beauty standards that favored White looks. Before the 1970s, many African-Americans used chemicals to straighten their hair. During the Black Power movement, people began wearing natural hairstyles, such as the "afro" or "fro." This style involved letting hair grow without chemicals and using a comb to shape it into a curly halo around the head. This choice showed pride in their natural hair and challenged the idea that Black hair was not professional.

The rise of social media has created new ways to share messages about self-love and mental health. These platforms help reduce the shame around mental health and promote self-love in a positive way.

Examples of modern self-love campaigns include:

• Dove Campaign for Real Beauty (a marketing campaign)
• SlutWalk
• To Write Love on Her Arms

Literary references

In 2008, Beck, Bhar, Brown, and Ghahramanlou-Holloway published a study titled "Self-Esteem and Suicide Ideation in Psychiatric Outpatients" in the journal Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior.

In Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, Malvolio is described as "sick of self-love…a distempered appetite" (I.v.85-6), showing he lacks a clear understanding of himself.

In 2003, A.P. Gregg and C. Sedikides provided a definition for self-love or self-worth.

In 2019, Willy Zayas wrote a book titled Origins of Self-Love.