Psychological abuse, also called emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a type of abuse where someone intentionally does things that cause mental harm, such as anxiety, long-term sadness, serious depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder, and other emotional problems.

This type of abuse is common in relationships where one person tries to control the other. It can also happen in workplaces or through actions like bullying or gaslighting, which make someone feel unsafe.

General definition

Experts and doctors have different ideas about what psychological abuse is. Current research often uses the terms "psychological abuse" and "emotional abuse" as the same, and these are not connected to physical abuse or violence, which is different from "psychological violence." Usually, "emotional abuse" refers to harm that affects a person emotionally rather than physically. However, experts still struggle to clearly explain or define it, and it can be hard to prove legally.

Emotional abuse can happen in many ways. Three common types of harmful behavior include being aggressive, refusing to acknowledge problems, and downplaying them. "Withholding" is a form of refusing to acknowledge problems. This includes not listening, avoiding communication, and emotionally pulling away as punishment. Even though there is no single agreed-upon definition for emotional abuse, it can be described in ways that go beyond just verbal or psychological abuse. Behaviors like blaming, shaming, and using hurtful names can emotionally harm a victim. This can change or lower the victim's self-worth and emotional health, making them feel emotionally abused.

A victim of emotional abuse may face serious psychological effects. Tactics like brainwashing, which can also be part of psychological abuse, involve controlling a person's thoughts. Emotional abuse, however, focuses on manipulating a person's feelings. The abuser may make the victim feel confused about their own emotions, especially regarding issues the abuser wants to control. Over time, this can take away the victim's sense of self and independence.

The U.S. Department of Justice says emotionally abusive behavior includes causing fear through threats, harming pets or property, threatening physical harm to a person or their loved ones, and forcing someone to isolate from family, friends, or school or work. Less obvious behaviors include insults, put-downs, unpredictable actions, and gaslighting (for example, denying that harmful events happened before). New forms of abuse have also appeared with modern technology, such as abusive messages sent through text or online bullying.

In 1996, Health Canada said emotional abuse is based on power and control. It includes behaviors like rejecting someone, treating them poorly, scaring them, isolating them, harming them, and refusing to respond to their emotions.

Some studies say that a single incident of yelling, controlling behavior, or jealousy does not count as psychological abuse. Instead, psychological abuse is defined by repeated or ongoing harmful actions, unlike physical or sexual abuse, which can be labeled as abuse after one event. Tomison and Tucci wrote, "emotional abuse is shown by a pattern of behaviors over time. 'Sustained' and 'repetitive' are key parts of any definition of emotional abuse." Andrew Vachss, an author and former investigator, described emotional abuse as "the gradual reduction of another person's value. It can be done on purpose or without realizing it, but it always happens through repeated actions, not a single event."

Prevalence

When discussing the different types of psychological abuse in relationships where violence occurs at home, it is important to understand four main types: Denigrating Damage to Partner's Self-Image or Esteem, Passive Aggressive Withholding of Emotional Support, Threatening Behavior, and Restricting Personal Territory and Freedom:

• Denigrating Damage refers to using harsh words, such as yelling, to hurt a partner's self-respect or make them feel bad about themselves.
• Passive Aggressive Withholding of Emotional Support means intentionally avoiding or ignoring a partner to make them feel unimportant or abandoned.
• Threatening Behavior includes making verbal threats, such as saying they will cause harm, end the relationship, lie, or act recklessly to put the partner in danger.
• Restricting Personal Territory and Freedom involves isolating the partner from friends and family, taking away their independence, and not respecting their personal space.

Studies show that at least 80% of women who entered the criminal justice system because of abuse by a partner also experienced psychological abuse from that partner. This type of abuse is also called domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse is defined as ongoing harm in relationships, such as marriage, family, or dating. It can include emotional abuse. While psychological abuse does not always lead to physical harm, physical abuse in relationships is usually preceded by psychological abuse. Research by Murphy and O'Leary found that psychological aggression is the strongest sign that physical aggression might happen later.

A 2012 review by Capaldi et al. found that psychological abuse is common in intimate partner violence (IPV) and is strongly linked to it. High levels of verbal aggression and conflict in relationships, which are similar to psychological abuse, are strong predictors of IPV. In particular, jealousy in men was connected to injuries in women from IPV.

Defining abuse in relationships between people of the opposite sex can be controversial because different studies have different results about whether men or women are more likely to be the cause of abuse. For example, a 2005 study by Hamel found that men and women are equally likely to physically or emotionally harm each other. Basile’s research showed that psychological aggression happens equally between heterosexual and homosexual couples in cases where they went to court for domestic issues.

A 2007 study of Spanish college students aged 18–27 found that psychological aggression is very common in dating relationships and is often seen as normal. The study also found that women are more likely than men to use psychological aggression. Similar results were found in other studies. Strauss et al. found that women in heterosexual relationships are more likely than men to use psychological aggression, such as threatening to hit or throw an object.

A study of young adults by Giordano et al. found that women in heterosexual relationships are more likely than men to threaten to use a knife or gun against their partner. While some studies say women use violence in relationships as often or more often than men, their violence is usually a reaction to being hurt, not an attack.

In 1996, a Canadian report found that 39% of married women or common-law wives were emotionally abused by their husbands or partners. A 1995 survey found that 36–43% of women aged 15 and older experienced emotional abuse during childhood or in their marriages or relationships. This report did not include information about men being emotionally abused by family members or partners. A BBC radio program reported that 20% of men and 30% of women have been abused by a spouse or partner.

Psychological abuse of a child is defined as actions by parents or caregivers that harm a child’s thinking, emotions, or development. According to the DSM-5, child psychological abuse includes verbal or symbolic acts, such as yelling, comparing the child to others, name-calling, blaming, gaslighting, manipulating, or normalizing abuse because the child is young.

Some parents may harm their children emotionally because of stress, poor parenting skills, isolation, or unrealistic expectations. Straus and Field found that verbal aggression toward children is very common in families. A 2008 study by English et al. found that fathers and mothers are equally likely to be verbally aggressive toward their children.

A study by Choi and Mayer on elder abuse found that 10.5% of participants experienced emotional or psychological abuse, often by a family member. Of 1288 cases between 2002–2004, 70% of victims were women. Psychological abuse (59%) and financial abuse (42%) were the most common types of abuse. A study in Hong Kong found that 21.4% of elderly people experienced abuse, with 20.8% reporting verbal abuse.

In the workplace, studies show that between 10% and 36% of people report ongoing emotional abuse from coworkers. Keashly and Jagatic found that men and women are equally likely to engage in emotionally abusive behavior at work. A survey by Namie found that women are more likely to bully coworkers through name-calling, and the average abuse lasts 16.5 months.

Pai and Lee found that younger workers are more likely to experience workplace violence. This may be because younger workers have less job experience and may not know how to avoid abusive situations. The study also found that 51.4% of workers reported verbal abuse, and 29.8% experienced bullying or mobbing.

Characteristics of abusers

Researchers from the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study, a long-term study that follows people from birth, found that while men tend to show more aggression overall, gender alone cannot reliably predict whether a person will be aggressive toward others, including through psychological means.

The DARVO study discovered that people who are aggressive, regardless of gender, often share certain traits, such as high levels of suspicion and jealousy, sudden and extreme mood changes, poor self-control, and greater acceptance of violence and aggression. Moffitt and colleagues also noted that men who engage in antisocial behavior often display two different types of aggression: one directed at strangers and another aimed at close female partners. In contrast, antisocial women are rarely aggressive toward people outside of their close male partners or their own children.

Abusers may avoid responsibilities like household chores or take complete control of family money. They often use manipulation to gain support from friends, law enforcement, court officials, or even the victim’s family, while blaming the victim for the abuse. Victims of abuse may begin to believe the abuse is their fault and may later form relationships with other abusers.

Effects

Most people who experience psychological abuse in close relationships often face changes in their mental state and behavior. These changes depend on the type and length of the emotional abuse. Long-term emotional abuse can cause serious problems with a person's sense of self and confidence. Research shows that emotional abuse can lead to physical abuse if three types of abuse are present in a relationship: making threats, limiting the victim's freedom, and damaging the victim's belongings.

Psychological abuse is often not seen as abuse by people who have been through domestic violence. A study by Goldsmith and Freyd found that many people who have been emotionally abused do not consider their experiences as abuse. These individuals also tend to have trouble identifying and understanding their emotions. This is common among people in abusive relationships, as not recognizing the abuse may be a way to handle stress or conflict.

Psychological abuse can cause unhappiness in relationships. In a 2007 study, Laurent and others found that psychological aggression in young couples leads to lower satisfaction for both partners. They explained that psychological aggression can harm a relationship because it shows less mature ways of dealing with problems and an inability to balance needs. In a 2008 study, Walsh and Shulman found that when females in relationships act aggressively, both partners feel less satisfied. They also noted that when males avoid talking about problems, it can increase dissatisfaction.

People respond to psychological abuse in different ways. Jacobson and others found that women often feel more fear during marital conflicts. However, some argue that differences in how men and women answer questions might affect these results. Coker and others found that the effects of emotional abuse are similar for both men and women. A 1998 study by Simonelli and Ingram found that men who were emotionally abused by their female partners had higher rates of long-term sadness than others. Pimlott-Kubiak and Cortina found that how severe and long the abuse was predicted its effects, but the gender of the abuser or victim did not.

Psychological abuse can harm children in many ways, including problems like post-traumatic stress, depression, low self-esteem, aggression, anxiety, and emotional numbness. These issues can happen when children face constant criticism, live with threats, or are rejected. This can also occur when parents do not offer love, support, or guidance.

English and others found that children in families with violence, including psychological and verbal abuse, are more likely to have mental health issues. They also found that emotional abuse can have effects similar to physical abuse. Johnson and others found that 24% of women in a study had experienced emotional abuse, and these women had more gynecological problems. Hines and Malley-Morrison found that men who were emotionally abused by a partner or parent often had high rates of post-traumatic stress and drug addiction, including alcoholism.

Glaser explained that babies who do not receive enough emotional care, even if they are physically well cared for, may not grow properly and could even die. Children with less severe emotional neglect may grow up to be anxious, have low self-esteem, or struggle with basic skills. Glaser also noted that abuse can lead to problems like poor behavior, anger, withdrawal, substance abuse, and difficulty forming relationships.

Oberlander and others found that young people with a history of abuse, including psychological abuse, are more likely to start sexual activity early. They explained that children who experience abuse may feel disconnected from their families and seek relationships for support or to fit in with peers.

Psychological abuse also happens in workplaces. Namie's study found that 31% of women and 21% of men who reported emotional abuse at work showed signs of post-traumatic stress, such as being overly alert, having disturbing thoughts, or avoiding situations. The effects of sexual harassment and retaliation include:

• Psychological stress, health problems, and loss of motivation.
• Poor performance at work or school, and more time off due to fear of harassment.
• Leaving school or changing plans because of stress or fear of harassment.
• Feeling judged or embarrassed by others.
• Losing trust in places or people similar to where harassment happened.
• Struggling with relationships, including possible divorce.
• Losing friends or support from others.
• Depression, anxiety, or panic attacks.
• Sleep problems, difficulty focusing, headaches, or tiredness.
• Eating disorders, alcoholism, or feeling helpless.

Abuse of the elderly

Elderly people who experience psychological abuse often face similar effects as other groups of people, such as depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness, neglect, and helplessness. A study looked at 355 Chinese elderly participants who were 60 years old or older. It found that 75% of the people who abused them were their adult children. In this study, the abuse they experienced, especially verbal abuse, led to psychological distress.

Prevention

Recognizing abuse is the first step in preventing it. It can be hard for people who are being abused to realize they are in a bad situation and to ask for help. Studies show that people who join a program to prevent abuse between partners report less psychological aggression, and over time, those who received help experienced less psychological abuse.

Non-profit groups offer support and prevention services. Examples include the National Domestic Violence Hotline, The Salvation Army, and Benefits.gov.

Emotional or psychological abuse in children is often the hardest to notice and stop. In the United States, government groups like Child Protective Services are usually the only way to help, but they need clear proof that a child has been harmed before they can act. Because emotional abuse does not leave physical signs like bruises or poor health, it is hard to find and treat. However, some researchers are working on ways to identify and help victims, such as finding risk factors, offering resources to families, and asking the right questions to spot abuse.

Most companies in the United States have a human resources department where employees can report cases of psychological or emotional abuse. Many managers are required to take training in conflict management to help keep the workplace respectful and inclusive. Workplaces must have strict rules against verbal abuse between coworkers. Employees need education and training to learn how to handle professional verbal abuse properly.

Popular perceptions

Several studies have shown that people often judge emotional abuse by men and women differently. Follingstad and others found that when professional psychologists were asked to rate examples of psychological abuse in marriage situations, they considered abuse by men against women more serious than the same situations where women abused men. This is linked to the common belief that men are more likely to be physically or emotionally aggressive.

In another study, Sorenson and Taylor asked people in Los Angeles about examples of abuse in heterosexual relationships. They found that abuse by women, such as controlling or humiliating behavior, was often seen as less serious than the same abuse by men. People also had more varied opinions about abuse by women compared to abuse by men, suggesting less clear social rules about how abuse by women should be viewed.

When studying the emotions of people who commit psychological abuse, researchers have looked at aggression as a possible cause. While many people believe men are more aggressive, studies have explored how women can also be aggressive. Walsh and Shluman noted that higher rates of aggression by women, including psychological abuse, might be partly due to societal attitudes that make aggression by men seem more unacceptable than aggression by women. This idea suggests that women may be taught with fewer limits on aggressive behavior, which could explain why some women use aggression in abusive situations.

Some researchers have studied why women are often not seen as abusive. Hamel’s 2007 study found that cultural beliefs, such as the idea that men are more dominant in relationships, have led to a lack of research on women who abuse their male partners. These cultural norms often assume men are more likely to start abuse in relationships.

Dutton found that men who are emotionally or physically abused often face blame from others, who wrongly believe the man provoked or deserved the abuse. Similarly, victims of domestic violence may blame themselves for the abuse. They may change their behavior or lives to try to please the abuser, which can make them more dependent on the abuser. A 2002 study concluded that emotional abusers often try to control all parts of family life, and this behavior is supported when victims focus on pleasing the abuser.

Abusers often control their victims through manipulation rather than force. They may use tactics to convince others to follow their wishes. Simon explained that because abuse can be hidden and done through subtle control, victims may not recognize the abuse until the situation becomes much worse.

Cultural causes

In 1988, a researcher stated that wife abuse comes from "normal psychological and behavioral patterns of most men" and that feminists try to understand why men use physical force against their partners and what purpose this serves in society. Dobash and Dobash (1979) said that men who hurt their wives are following cultural rules in Western society that value aggressiveness, male dominance, and female subordination. They use physical force to enforce this dominance. Walker claimed that men show a "learned need for power that favors men."

Some women may be aggressive or dominant toward male partners, but a 2003 report found that about 80% of abuse in heterosexual relationships in the United States is committed by men. Critics note that this study from the Department of Justice looks at crime data, not specifically domestic abuse. Many cases of domestic abuse are not reported to police or not considered crimes, so the study may not fully reflect domestic abuse rates. A 2002 study reported that 10% of violence in the UK overall is committed by women against men. More recent data about domestic abuse (including emotional abuse) shows that 3 in 10 women and 1 in 5 men have experienced domestic abuse.

One source said that legal systems historically supported traditions of male dominance, but in recent years, abusers are more likely to be punished. In 1879, a Harvard University law scholar wrote, "American courts consistently rule against a husband's right to use any form of punishment, even mild, against his wife."

While researchers have highlighted important topics, critics argue that the idea that male cultural dominance explains abuse is not a complete explanation for several reasons:

• A 1989 study found that factors like race, culture, religion, and family background make it hard to define male and female roles in a way that applies to everyone.
• A 1995 study found that disagreements about sharing power in relationships are more linked to abuse than unequal power.
• Studies on patriarchal beliefs and wife abuse have given mixed results. One study said that women with lower social status in the U.S. face higher rates of spousal abuse, but others disagreed with these conclusions. Another study said that patriarchal beliefs cause only 20% of wife abuse. Other research found no simple connection between women’s status and abuse rates. A 1994 study of Hispanic Americans showed that men who hold traditional beliefs had lower rates of abuse toward women.
• Studies from the 1980s found that treatment programs based on the idea that men have cultural advantages are flawed because there is little link between abuse and cultural attitudes.
• A 1992 study challenged the idea that male abuse of women is culturally accepted, saying that abusive men are often seen as poor partners. A 1988 study said that only a small number of abusive men strongly support male dominance over women. A 1986 study said that most men who commit spousal abuse agree their behavior was wrong. A 1970 study said that few men approve of spousal abuse even in limited situations. Studies from the 1970s and 1980s found that most men are not abusive toward their partners during relationships, contrary to the idea that aggression is a natural part of being male.
• A 1994 study noted that heterosexual and gay male relationships have lower abuse rates than lesbian relationships, and that women who have been with both men and women are more likely to be abused by women. These findings are hard to explain with the idea of male dominance. Another researcher said that patriarchal beliefs must work with psychological factors to explain differences in abuse rates.

A 2010 study said that strict religious views often support emotional abuse and that gender inequality usually creates power imbalances that make women more vulnerable. This is especially true in traditional patriarchal societies.

Some studies say that strict religious rules against divorce may make it harder for people to leave abusive marriages. A 1985 survey of Protestant clergy in the U.S. found that 21% believed no amount of abuse would justify a woman leaving her husband, and 26% thought a wife should submit to her husband and trust God to stop the abuse or help her endure it. A 2016 report by the Muslim Women’s Network UK said that Muslim women in abusive marriages face barriers to divorce through Sharia Councils. These include using religious texts to discourage divorce, blaming women for failed marriages, giving more weight to a husband’s testimony, requiring two male witnesses for a woman’s claim, and pushing women toward mediation or reconciliation instead of granting a divorce, even if domestic violence is present.