An Oaxacan wedding is a traditional ceremony that includes the involvement of both the bride's and groom's families, as well as the community. The main people who make decisions about the wedding are the fathers of the bride and groom. The father of the groom must first ask for the bride's hand in marriage. If the bride's father agrees, the families begin to plan the wedding two weeks later. If the groom does not have a father, an elder can represent him at this event. During this gathering, the groom's family brings fruits, bread, and drinks. The godparents of both the bride and groom attend this meeting. These godparents are the same individuals who were present during the bride's and groom's baptism, first communion, and confirmation. They are also chosen as new wedding godparents for the couple. The couple usually selects their godparents because of a family connection or friendship. After this, the groom shows his commitment to the bride's family by completing any tasks the family needs until the wedding day. These tasks may include cleaning or helping the bride's father with work on the ranch.
The celebration begins early in the morning, around six or seven o'clock, when the groom's family visits the bride's home. They bring 12 turkeys, pan de yema, chocolate, tlayudas, and ingredients to prepare the traditional mole dish as offerings. Shortly after, the groom and his godparents arrive with a band. Once everyone is present at the bride's house, the godparents, parents, and other relatives give blessings to the couple. After this, the group gathers for the Catholic wedding ceremony.
As the group walks to the church, the band plays music. The bride and groom walk in front of the band to announce their marriage. The band is an important part of the wedding because it adds joy and celebration to the union of a man and woman.
Ceremony
The Catholic wedding ceremony begins around 8 or 9 in the morning and is held in Spanish. This is the only time Spanish is spoken during the wedding. For most people in Oaxaca, Spanish is not their first language. Oaxaca is a state with many different groups of people, each with their own language and traditions. The most well-known groups are the Zapotecs and Mixtecs, both of whom primarily speak languages other than Spanish.
After the wedding, all the guests—family and friends of the bride and groom—walk to the godparents’ house. When everyone arrives, a band plays a song called Paloma. At this time, breakfast is served to more than 100 guests. The food includes pan de yema and a large bowl of hot chocolate. It is a tradition for the godparents to serve the newlywed couple the pan de yema and chocolate. The couple shares the food as a symbol of being united as a man and wife. Lunch is also provided, and the dishes served depend on the choice of the godparents. Fruit is given to the guests, and the band plays Paloma again. This part of the celebration ends with fireworks being set off.
The next part of the celebration happens at the groom’s house, around 3 in the afternoon. At this time, dinner is prepared, and the godparents serve the bride and groom again. The traditional food served includes mole and egadito.
Food and drink
Mole is a traditional dish from the regions of Oaxaca and Puebla. The state of Oaxaca is known as the “land of the seven moles,” which includes mole negro, Colorado, amarillo, verde, chichilo, coloradito, and mancha manteles. Mole is a sauce used to cook meats like pork and chicken. It is also used in many Mexican dishes. There are several types of mole, such as mole negro and mole poblano, which use many kinds of chiles and herbs from the area. Mole negro is one of the more challenging dishes to make because it includes ingredients like chocolate, garlic, chili, and herbs.
Egadito is another dish that includes eggs, green tomatoes, and chicken. In Oaxaca, people often eat egadito with clayados, which are homemade tortillas. Clayados are a common food enjoyed by many Oaxacans. Typical fruit juices served during dinner and weddings include horchata, tamarindo, chilacayota, zapote negro, and Jamaica.
After dinner, guests return to the godparents’ home. At this location, the bride dances with the guests of the godparents. This dance lasts about one hour. The final place guests go is the groom’s house, where the dancing begins. To start the evening, the male godparent and the father of the groom and bride make a toast using a cup of Mezcal.
Mezcal is a traditional alcoholic drink that represents Oaxacan weddings. It is made from the maguey plant, which is native to Mexico. Mezcal is popular across Mexico but is mostly produced in Oaxaca. It has been made in the same way for many years, using the heart of the maguey plant, called “la piña.” Mezcal is becoming a well-known export from Mexico. Some types of Mezcal include guasno, tobalá, pechuga, blanco, minero, cedrón, de alacran, and ad crème de café.
Mezcal originally came from the sacred maguey plant in Mexico and was believed to give power to religious rituals. This is why it is important in Oaxacan weddings. The Spaniards called Mezcal “aguardientes,” or fire waters. It is made using methods passed down through generations in Oaxaca. The piñas are collected, crushed with a stone, and left to ferment after being cooked for three days in earth ovens. Mezcal is exported to countries like the United States and Japan. It is becoming known for its cultural symbol, which includes a bottle with larvae at the bottom. Mezcal is usually drunk as a straight shot, not in mixed drinks. Some people add salt, lime, and orange slices when drinking it. They also honor the traditions and blessings connected to Mezcal. One tradition involves pouring a small amount of Mezcal on the ground as a gift to the goddess of maguey. Mezcal is often served with a side plate of fried larvae mixed with chili peppers, salt, and limes.
Dance
After the toast, the elders begin by dancing to el jarabe. This dance can last about 30 minutes. El jarabe and other dance traditions are now common parts of Oaxacan wedding culture. At a typical Oaxacan wedding, music plays in different parts of the night. The band comes on and off throughout the evening. Mariachi music is often played, offering lively rhythms that people of all ages enjoy. The band usually performs later in the evening after the reception. Instruments like guitars, violins, trumpets, and marimbas are added to give the event a cultural feel. Music and dancing are the main forms of entertainment that keep the celebration lively.
During the dance, the elders wear crowns on their heads. These crowns look similar to those worn by Olympic winners. The newly married couple participates by walking around the dance floor. The godparents also join the dance, and their role is to throw candy to the guests. Once the elders finish dancing, the floor is open for everyone to enjoy. After the dancing, the brindis, or toast, happens next. The father of the bride thanks everyone for coming and proposes a toast for the newlywed couple.
Next comes the Vals, which is a type of waltz. This dance is meant to be the final dance between a father and daughter. After this dance, a circle forms with the couple in the center. Anyone can join the circle to dance with the bride or groom at any time. The Vals can last about 30 minutes. Once it ends, the vibora de la mara, or snake dance, begins. In this dance, the bride and groom hold up the bride’s dress, and guests go underneath one by one while holding hands. This dance includes traditions, humor, and entertainment for family and friends.
The final event is cutting the cake. The cake is usually a traditional Mexican cake called tres leches, or three milks. It has several layers, with figures of the bride and groom on top. The cake is large enough to serve over 100 people, as many guests attend Oaxacan weddings. The bride and groom cut the cake together. They can choose whether to have their faces pushed into the cake before it is served. After this, the couple takes pictures with their godparents, parents, family members, and friends.
Familial importance
The wedding continues the next day, where the bride prepares atole, a drink made with masa, water, piloncillo (a type of cinnamon), vanilla, and chocolate, for all the remaining guests. After this, the remaining guests and the couple visit the cemetery to honor loved ones who could not attend the wedding. Food, flowers, and mezcal are brought to the cemetery as offerings to the deceased. This part of the wedding is similar to el Día de Muertos.
To end the wedding, the couple goes with their families to thank their godparents for agreeing to be their wedding godparents one week later. Oaxacans take this role seriously, as it represents a type of kinship called compadrazgo between families. For this reason, expressing gratitude for someone’s participation as a godparent is very important.