Marriage vows are promises that each person in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony in Western Christian traditions. These vows are not required in most legal areas and are not part of all types of marriage. They are also not used in traditional wedding ceremonies by some Christian groups, such as Eastern Christians.

Background

The oldest traditional wedding vows come from books used by the medieval church. In England, these books were created for the dioceses of Salisbury (Sarum) and York. The people who wrote the first Book of Common Prayer, published in 1549, mostly used the Sarum book for the marriage ceremony. When couples agreed to marry, the Church of England usually gave them a choice. They could promise to "love and cherish" each other, or the groom could promise to "love, cherish, and worship," while the bride promised to "love, cherish, and obey."

Western Christianity

Couples who marry in the Latin Church of the Catholic Church make the same promise to each other. According to the Rite of Marriage (#25), the usual wording in English is:

In the United States, Catholic wedding vows may also be phrased as follows:

The priest will then say, "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen."

Historically, in the Sarum Rite of the Catholic Church, the wife’s vow was:

In English, the bride says:

The wedding vows used in Lutheran Churches are as follows:

The law in England allows marriages to be legal if they are properly carried out and registered in the Church of England and some other religious groups (e.g., Jewish, Quakers). Other men and women who wish to marry may be married by a local official authorized to do so (civil ceremony). In some cases, couples may have both ceremonies at different times, though this is rare. The vows, presence of witnesses, and civil registration are required by law.

Civil ceremonies often allow couples to choose their own marriage vows, although many are adapted from traditional vows found in the Book of Common Prayer: "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

These vows were first published in English in the prayer book of 1549, based on earlier Latin texts (the Sarum and York Rituals of the medieval period). An older version of the final phrase was "until death us depart," where "depart" means "separate." This phrase was changed due to changes in the usage of "depart" in the Prayer Book of 1662. In the 1928 prayer book (not authorized) and later editions of the 1662 prayer book, the word "obey" was retained (in the 1928 book, an alternative version omitted this). The 1928 revised form of Matrimony was widely used, though the 1662 form was also used, though less so after the introduction of the Alternative Service Book.

The original wedding vows, as printed in the Book of Common Prayer, are:

Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride’s finger, he says the following:

In the Alternative Service Book (1980), two versions of the vows are included: the bride and groom must choose one version. Version A:

Version B is identical except for the clause "to love and to cherish," where the groom says "to love, cherish, and worship" and the bride says "to love, cherish, and obey."

Since 2000, the normal vows in Common Worship are as follows:

However, the bride and groom may choose to replace the clause "to love and to cherish" with "to love, cherish, and obey" when the bride makes her vows.

On September 12, 1922, the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride’s section of wedding vows. Other churches in the Anglican Communion each have their own authorized prayer books, which generally follow the vows described above, though details and languages used vary.

In the United Kingdom, since the first law regulating marriage (the Marriage Act 1753), the state recognizes marriages conducted by the Society of Friends (Quakers), Jews, and the Church of England.

The declarations made in Quaker marriages were first recorded in a London Yearly Meeting minute in 1675 as follows:

The procedure was restated in a minute of London Yearly Meeting in 1754, and the declarations remained the same until the twentieth century. In July 1922, the Committee on the Marriage Declaration was formed, and this reported to London Yearly Meeting in 1923. After further review, the final phrase was changed to "as long as we both on earth shall live," though the option of "until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us" remained as an alternative.

The current declarations allowed in Britain Yearly Meeting are:

The following alternatives are currently allowed:
• The declaration may begin with "In the presence of God"
• The declaration may begin with "In the fear of the Lord and in the presence of this assembly"
• The word "spouse" may be replaced by "wife" or "husband" as appropriate or by "partner in marriage"
• The phrase "through divine assistance" may be replaced by "with God's help"
• The phrase "so long as we both on earth shall live" may be replaced by "until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us"
• The declaration may be made in Welsh in "places where the Welsh tongue is used."

Hindu marriage vows

The Saptapadi, meaning "seven steps," is the most important ceremony in a Hindu wedding. During this ritual, the couple walks around a sacred fire seven times. Each circle represents a promise they make about their future together. This ceremony strengthens their bond and marks the final part of the marriage.

The promises, which can be spoken aloud, are divided into seven categories:

• Nourishment: The couple promises to care for each other and ensure their family has food, shelter, and a safe home.
• Strength: They agree to support each other and build physical, spiritual, and mental strength together. They will face life's challenges as a team.
• Prosperity: This vow includes a promise to work together to earn and keep wealth, using honest ways to manage their resources.
• Harmony and happiness: This vow focuses on creating peace and happiness for both partners. They promise to support each other through both good and difficult times.
• Family and offspring: The couple vows to love and respect each other and their families. They also promise to raise their children with strong values.
• Health and longevity: They pledge to live long, healthy lives together. They also promise to stay loyal and faithful to each other.
• Friendship and lifelong companionship: The final vow is a promise to remain friends and partners for life. They commit to staying devoted to each other forever.

Civil marriage

According to the Marriage Act 1949, all legal marriages in England and Wales, including those conducted by an authorized person (such as religious ceremonies not performed by the Anglican church, Jewish leaders, or Quakers), must include specific declaration and contracting words. The Marriage Ceremony (Prescribed Words) Act 1996 provided an alternative declaration option, as well as an alternative set of contracting words.

History

Wedding vows used in most English-speaking countries come from the Sarum rite of medieval England. The first part of these vows was originally written in Latin, but the priest was instructed to say it in the "mother tongue" of the people present. The vows in the first English prayer book published in 1549 are mostly similar to those of the Sarum rite.