A marriage proposal is a tradition in many Western cultures where one person in a relationship asks the other to marry them. If the other person agrees, it begins the process of engagement, which is a promise between the two people to marry each other in the future.

Norms and roles

In Western cultures, a proposal is often made by a man to a woman, who may kneel in front of her. The tradition usually includes asking the question "Will you marry me, …?" and giving an engagement ring, often in a small velvet box, which the man may place on her finger if she agrees.

Before proposing, a man traditionally asks the woman's father for permission. Today, this is often seen as a formality.

Most proposals in the United States and Australia are made by men. In societies where men have more power, proposals made by women may not be taken seriously. Some women may lead the proposal privately while following traditional customs publicly. Some women may avoid supporting gender equality in marriage due to fear of being rejected or because they prefer ideas that support traditional gender roles.

When asked if a woman proposing to a man is acceptable, most people in America and Australia say it is acceptable. Jewelry companies now advertise engagement rings for women who propose to men. In countries like Scotland, Ireland, England, and Finland, folk traditions allow women to propose on leap days. In some cases, a man who refuses such a proposal may be expected to give a gift, such as clothing. Queen Victoria proposed to Prince Albert because of a royal tradition in Britain that no one can propose to a reigning monarch.

Same-gender couples, who are not affected by gendered proposal traditions, often keep some traditional elements while changing others. In some cases, both partners may propose to each other.

Traditions

The proposal is often thought to be a surprise, but in reality, this rarely happens. Studies show that most proposals are not surprises, and many engagements begin with a conversation where both people agree to get married.

Not all engagements start with a marriage proposal. In the past, many marriages were arranged by parents or matchmakers, and these traditions are still used today. Even when a couple decides to marry, they may not talk directly about it. For example, in the traditional Japanese custom of Omiai, the decision to accept or reject marriage is made by the matchmakers of each person.

In many Christian groups, couples can have a ceremony called the Rite of Betrothal (also known as "blessing an engaged couple" or "declaration of intention"). This ceremony often includes prayers, Bible verses, blessing the engagement rings, and blessing the couple.