A Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While different Jewish communities may have unique customs, common elements include a ketubah (a marriage contract) signed by two witnesses, a chuppah or huppah (a wedding canopy), a ring owned by the groom that is given to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass.

The Jewish wedding process has two main stages. The first stage, called kiddushin (Hebrew for "betrothal") or erusin, is when the couple begins their relationship. During this stage, the woman is not allowed to marry anyone else, and a religious divorce called a get is needed to end this relationship. The second stage, called nissuin, is when the couple becomes married. The ceremony that marks nissuin is also known as the chuppah.

Today, the first stage, kiddushin, happens when the groom gives the bride a ring or another valuable item with the intention of creating a marriage. There are different opinions about which part of the ceremony marks the second stage, nissuin, such as standing under the canopy or being alone together in a room (yichud). Over time, the role of kiddushin has changed from a time when the man was expected to prepare financially for marriage to the first part of the wedding ceremony. Historically, the two stages could happen up to a year apart, but now they are often combined into one ceremony.

Signing of the marriage contract

Before the wedding ceremony, the groom agrees to follow the rules of the ketubah (a marriage contract) in front of two witnesses. The witnesses then sign the document. Usually, the witnesses are not close family members, but family and friends are often present during the signing. The ketubah lists the groom's responsibilities, such as providing food, clothing, and a marital relationship. This document is legally binding, but it might be difficult to enforce in a non-religious court. It is often created as an artful document, called an illuminated manuscript, and is framed and hung in the couple's home. During the ceremony under the chuppah (a canopy), the signed ketubah is read aloud, typically in Aramaic, though sometimes in another language. This tradition helps mark the beginning of the wedding ceremony. Non-Orthodox Jewish couples might choose a ketubah in two languages or a shorter version for reading.

Bridal canopy

A traditional Jewish wedding ceremony happens under a chuppah, which is a wedding canopy. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the couple will build when they become husband and wife. In Ashkenazi Jewish tradition, the chuppah was often set up outside under the open sky. The chuppah used in Ashkenazi ceremonies has a cloth canopy held up by four beams. This structure represents the home of the new couple and is traditionally placed under an open sky. Some Sephardic weddings also use a chuppah with a cloth canopy and four beams. However, in some Sephardic weddings, the tallit, which is a prayer shawl worn by the groom, is used as the chuppah. After the ceremony ends, the groom wraps the tallit around both himself and his new wife, showing they are now joined together.

Covering of the bride

Before the ceremony, Ashkenazi Jews follow a tradition where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil. A prayer is often said during this moment, based on words spoken to Rebecca in Genesis 24:60. This ritual is called "badeken" in Yiddish. Some reasons for the veil include a reminder of how Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel, as Leah’s face was covered by a veil (as described in Vayetze). Another reason connects to Rebecca, who is said to have covered her face when Isaac, her future husband, approached her. Sephardi Jews do not perform this ceremony. The veil also symbolizes that the groom values the bride’s inner qualities, not just her outer appearance, which changes over time. If the couple has been separated before the wedding, this is the first time they see each other since their separation.

Unterfirers

In many Orthodox Jewish communities, the bride is led to the chuppah by both of her mothers, and the groom is led by both of his fathers. These fathers are called "unterfirers" by Ashkenazi Jews, which means "ones who lead under" in Yiddish. In some traditions, the bride and groom are each led by their own parents. If the parents are not available or not wanted for any reason, the escorts can be any happily married couple. Some Ashkenazi communities have a custom where the escorts hold candles as they walk to the chuppah.

Circling

In Ashkenazi Jewish tradition, the bride walks around the groom three or seven times when she reaches the chuppah (wedding canopy). This custom may come from the Bible verse Jeremiah 31:22, which says, "A woman shall surround a man." Walking three times might symbolize three important qualities in marriage: righteousness, justice, and kindness, as mentioned in Hosea 2:19. Walking seven times may represent the idea in the Bible that the number seven stands for perfection or completeness. This is also connected to the story of Joshua walking around the walls of Jericho seven times before they fell. Sephardic Jews, a different Jewish group, do not perform this ritual.

In many modern Jewish communities, such as Reform, Reconstructionist, or Humanistic groups, people often change this tradition to support fairness or to include same-gender couples. One way to adapt it is for the bride to walk around the groom three times, then for the groom to walk around the bride three times, and finally for both to walk around each other, like in a dance called a do-si-do. The meaning of the circling has been changed to show how important each partner is to the other, or to represent the four matriarchs (mothers) and three patriarchs (fathers) from Jewish history.

Presentation of the ring (Betrothal)

In traditional Jewish weddings, two blessings are said before the engagement ceremony. One blessing is over wine, and the other is the betrothal blessing, which is described in the Talmud. After the blessings, the couple tastes the wine together.

Rings are not required for the ceremony, but they are the most common way to meet the bride price requirement, a tradition that began in the Middle Ages. The bride price, which may be a ring, must be worth at least the value of a single prutah, the smallest unit of currency used during the Talmudic era. This low value ensures that financial barriers do not prevent people from marrying.

According to Jewish law, the ring must be made of solid metal, such as gold or silver, and should not have jewels or gemstones. This makes it easier to determine the ring’s value. Some people believe the ring symbolizes purity and honesty in a relationship. However, many Jewish couples, especially those who are not Orthodox, use rings with engravings, decorative designs, or gemstones. Orthodox couples often wear plain gold or silver bands during the ceremony to meet religious requirements. After the wedding, the bride may wear a decorated ring if she chooses.

During the ceremony, the groom gives the bride a simple ring and says, “Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.” The groom places the ring on the bride’s right index finger. Jewish law requires two witnesses to see the groom give the ring.

In some egalitarian weddings, the bride may also give the groom a ring. The ring may include a quote from the Song of Songs: “Ani l’dodi, ve dodi li” (I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine). This ring is sometimes given outside the chuppah, the wedding canopy, to avoid conflicts with religious laws.

Seven blessings

The wedding starts when the Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings, are read. These blessings are said by the hazzan, rabbi, or chosen guests who are called individually. Being asked to say one of the seven blessings is seen as a special honor. After the blessings, the groom drinks from a cup of wine. The bride also drinks from the same cup. In some traditions, the groom’s new father-in-law holds the cup to his lips, and the bride’s new mother-in-law holds the cup to her lips. Different traditions decide whether extra songs are sung before the seven blessings.

Breaking the glass

After the bride receives the ring or at the end of the ceremony (based on local traditions), the groom breaks a glass by stepping on it with his right foot.

There are several reasons for this tradition. Some believe breaking the glass is a serious act that reminds people of the destruction of the two Jewish temples. Former Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Israel Ovadia Yosef has criticized how this custom is sometimes performed in Israel, saying that "many uninformed people laugh and shout 'mazel tov' during the glass-breaking, turning a meaningful tradition meant to express sorrow over Jerusalem's destruction into a moment of carefree behavior."

The origin of this tradition is unknown, though many explanations exist. One main idea is that joy should always be balanced. This comes from two stories in the Talmud about rabbis who broke a container—later a glass—to calm a wedding celebration that became too loud. Another explanation is that the broken glass serves as a reminder that even during happy times, Jews remember the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Because of this, some people recite the words "If I forget thee, O Jerusalem…" (Psalm 137:5) at this moment. Many other explanations have been shared by religious leaders.

Reform Judaism has a different tradition where the bride and groom break a wine glass together.

Yichud

Yichud, which means togetherness or seclusion, is a tradition practiced by Ashkenazi Jews after a wedding ceremony. During this time, the bride and groom spend 8–20 minutes alone together in a private room. Yichud can happen in different places, such as a rabbi's study or a synagogue classroom. This practice is based on the belief that standing under the wedding canopy alone does not complete the ceremony, and being alone is needed to finish it. However, Sephardic Jews do not follow this custom, as they believe it is inappropriate and could harm the couple's modesty.

Today, Yichud is not used for the couple to physically become married. Instead, the bride and groom often eat, relax, and spend time together during this short period before the wedding celebrations begin. The wedding day is considered a special day for the couple, similar to Yom Kippur, a time for reflection. Some couples may choose to fast before the wedding, and Yichud can be a time to break their fast and share their first meal together. Even if they do not fast, this time allows the couple to enjoy private moments before continuing with their wedding activities.

In Yemen, Jewish weddings did not use a canopy (chuppah) for seclusion, as is common today. Instead, the bride and groom were left alone in a special room in the groom's home. This room was decorated with colorful cloth, cushions, and small mattresses for resting. Their marriage was considered complete when they were left alone together in this room. This description of the chuppah is also found in the Sefer HaIttur (12th century) and the Jerusalem Talmud.

Wedding feast

After the wedding ceremony and Yichud, the bride and groom enter a room filled with friends and family to begin the celebrations. The wedding ceremony is an important religious event, while the wedding feast is a joyful and lively celebration for the couple. Guests are expected to bring happiness and excitement to the couple on their wedding day.

During the wedding feast, people dance, sing, eat, and drink. The feast has two parts. At the beginning, there is dancing and celebration, but men and women are separated. After a few hours, a more lively celebration starts. This usually happens after older guests leave, and men and women may mix (not at orthodox weddings), often including a dance.

Special dances

Dancing is an important part of Jewish weddings. It is common for guests to dance in front of the seated bride and groom to make them happy. Traditional dances from the Ashkenazi Jewish culture include:

• The Krenzl, where the bride’s mother is given a flower crown by her daughters (usually during the wedding of the mother’s last unmarried daughter).
• The Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the bride or groom when their final child gets married.
• The Horah, a circle dance where people hold hands or link arms and move with a side-to-side step. Large groups may form circles within circles.
• The gladdening of the bride, where guests dance around the bride and use playful items like signs, banners, costumes, confetti, or jump ropes made from napkins.
• The Mitzvah tantz, where family members and respected rabbis dance in front of the bride (or sometimes with her, such as with the father or grandfather), often holding a gartel. They then dance with the groom, and the bride and groom dance together at the end.

Birkat hamazon and sheva brachot

After the meal, Birkat Hamazon (Grace after Meals) is said, followed by sheva brachot. At a wedding banquet, a special version of the call to Birkat Hamazon is used, which includes (in Ashkenazic communities) the first stanza of Devai Haser. Prayer booklets called bentshers may be given to guests. After the prayers, the blessing over the wine is said, with two glasses of wine poured together into a third. This action symbolizes the creation of a new life together.

Jewish prenuptial agreements

Today, Jewish religious groups have created premarital agreements to help ensure that a husband cannot refuse to give his wife a get, which is a document needed for divorce. These agreements are used in countries like the United States, Israel, the United Kingdom, and others. However, not all Jewish groups agree with this approach, especially the Orthodox group.

Conservative Judaism created the Lieberman clause to stop husbands from refusing to give their wives a get. This is done by including specific rules in the ketubah, which is a traditional Jewish marriage contract. If certain situations that are agreed upon beforehand happen, the divorce becomes official immediately.

Timing

Weddings should not take place on Shabbat or Jewish holidays, including Chol HaMoed. This is because Shabbat rules forbid any buying, selling, or exchanging of items, which are necessary for a wedding. Also, weddings require work, such as preparing food or arranging transportation for guests, which is not allowed on Shabbat. The time period called the counting of the omer and the three weeks are also times when weddings are not held, though some traditions have different rules about parts of these periods. Some months and days are seen as more or less favorable for holding a wedding.