Bundling, also called tarrying, is an old tradition where a couple is wrapped together in a bed, sometimes with a board placed between them. This practice was part of a way for people to get to know each other before marriage. The custom is believed to have started in the Netherlands or the British Isles. It later became popular in colonial times in the United States, especially in Pennsylvania Dutch Country. This tradition is often linked to the Amish community as a way of courting.

Courtship practice

Bundling, also called "bed courting," is thought to have started with ancient groups in the British Isles before the arrival of the Celts. European settlers, mainly from the Netherlands and Wales, brought the practice to the American colonies, where it became very popular. In the past, courtship often involved young people who were engaged or planning to marry. They would sleep together in a bed at their parents' home to check if they were a good match and to make sure they followed rules. A bundling board or bundling sack might be used. A bundling board was a large wooden plank placed between the couple, while a bundling sack was a sleeping bag sewn down the middle to separate them. The practice of bundling was more common during times when women had more influence in society, as it helped prevent relationships before marriage.

This custom became widespread in New England during the 1700s. It was used to ensure that an unmarried man who caused an unexpected pregnancy would be held responsible. The practice allowed others to see if any physical contact happened between the couple. In the 1600s, courts often believed a woman’s claim that a man was the father of her child. However, in the 1700s, judges required more proof to support a woman’s accusation, which was harder to find. If a couple had a secret relationship and the woman became pregnant, there would be no witnesses to confirm their connection. After bundling, couples often married through a legal agreement or in a church.

In the United States

In colonial America, two main types of bundling were commonly discussed. The first was a sleeping arrangement between strangers, often used to help travelers in less developed areas without any connection to romantic or sexual activity. The second involved lovers sharing a bed under the supervision of their parents, a practice that helped ensure legal responsibility for fathers if a pregnancy occurred before marriage. This second type of bundling was most common in rural areas, where family and community support helped prevent the social problems that could come from abandoning a pregnant woman. In cities, where people moved more freely and were less known to others, this protection was not available.

Despite some religious criticism, bundling became more popular among rural people during the 1700s. Evidence of premarital sex in colonial times can be seen in the number of babies born within the first nine months of marriage. By the late 1700s, about 30-40% of infants were born in this time frame, showing a rise in pregnancies before marriage. This pattern was often shared between mothers and their daughters during the 18th century.

In the United States, religious leaders like Jonathan Edwards strongly opposed bundling. American Puritans believed the practice was immoral and not in line with Christian values. However, bundling was most common during the late 1700s, a time when people were less influenced by Puritan ideas and religious rules for young people were not as strict. With the start of the Second Great Awakening in the early 1800s, religion became more important in the lives of young people, and Puritan values were more strictly followed. As society shifted from practical solutions like bundling to ideals of abstinence and moral responsibility, the practice became less popular.

By the mid-1800s, bundling may have still been practiced in some areas, such as New York and New England, but it was becoming less common. A court case from 1846 in New York, Graham v. Smith, showed that bundling was still part of some rural communities at the time. By the 1900s, bundling had nearly disappeared everywhere except among some conservative groups, like the Old Order Amish, where it was still used as of 2006. In modern times, activities like "dating" and "necking" may have replaced bundling. In the 1700s, concerns about the safety of young women led to new stories and writings that appeared in newspapers and magazines.

In Africa

The Kwanyama are one of the eight Ambo Bantu tribes living in Southwest Africa. A custom during courtship called bundling is common among the Kwanyama. This practice started within the Kwanyama Ambo tribe in the eighteenth century. For the Kwanyama, bundling does not mean having sexual intercourse. Instead, the word "bundling" refers to "okunangala," which means "to sleep together." In South Africa, bundling helped prevent the birth of children born outside of marriage. Among the Kwanyama, engaged couples bundle under supervision. However, bundling that is not supervised happens at night during public gatherings, where no one is watching.

In Europe

Bundling was practiced by many groups, including the Germanic tribes, the Celts, the Finns, and people from the Baltic states. In Germany and Switzerland, a custom called Kiltgang showed that boys and girls who were going through puberty sometimes spent the night together in bed. This practice started in the 1800s in Norway and Sweden. During these gatherings, the young people were either fully or partially dressed, and sexual activity did not happen. This allowed young people to choose a partner without their parents’ involvement.

In the 1600s, some Jewish communities encouraged affection between people before marriage. This sometimes led to courtship practices that included physical contact but not sexual intercourse. These practices were similar to bundling traditions in early modern France and North America. A 17th-century religious leader named Isaiah Horowitz criticized this practice because he worried it might lead to sexual wrongdoing before marriage. In the 18th century, another religious leader, Ezekiel Landau, reported an instance where "Jewish bundling" resulted in sexual intercourse.

Literature

Washington Irving, a writer, mentioned bundling as a practice used by Yankees in his book A History of New York (1809) and other works. Historian Edward Shorter wrote in his book The Making of the Modern Family that an increase in children born outside of marriage due to courtship practices was part of a "sexual revolution" connected to the rise of industrial capitalism in the 18th century. Jakob Huizinga, a Mennonite reverend who lived on the island of Texel (in the northwestern part of the Netherlands) from 1844 to 1881, wrote about unmarried people having sexual relationships before marriage in his diary. He described this as the "Texel custom" or "night courting," which involved men visiting an unmarried woman’s bedroom at night. Practices like night courting, bundling, or festerln were found in areas near the North Sea, the Alps, and the Baltic region.