Aromanticism is a romantic orientation that involves not feeling much, or any, romantic attraction. The term "aromatic" or "aro" is used to describe someone whose romantic orientation is aromanticism. It is different from, but sometimes confused with, asexuality, which is the lack of sexual attraction.

Definition, identity and relationships

Aromanticism is the state of having little or no romantic feelings toward others. This term was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2018. The opposite of aromanticism is alloromanticism, which means someone experiences romantic love or attraction to others. Some people on the aromantic spectrum may have felt romantic love or attraction before but no longer do. These individuals may use labels like "grayromantic" (romantic attraction is rare or weak) or "demiromantic" (romantic attraction is felt only after a strong emotional bond is formed). Because romantic attraction is personal, some aromantic people may find it hard to tell if they feel romantic attraction. This can make it difficult to tell the difference between platonic (non-romantic) affection and romantic affection.

Aromantic people can form non-romantic relationships of all kinds and may enjoy sexual relationships. They may also choose to have children. Studies show that aromantic people are just as likely as alloromantic people to have children. This is because aromanticism is not connected to sexuality or sexual desire. While many aromantic people are asexual (no sexual desire), many are allosexual (have sexual desire). Aromantic people who are allosexual are called "aromantic allosexuals" or "aroallos." These individuals may also identify with other sexual orientations, such as "aromantic bisexual" or "aromantic heterosexual." The idea that romantic and sexual attraction are separate is called the "split attraction model." Aromantic asexual people are sometimes called "aro-ace" or "aroace."

Aromantic people can experience platonic love and may have close friendships. Some form non-romantic partnerships called "queerplatonic relationships." Some aromantic people may enter romantic relationships even if they do not feel romantic attraction. Others, like those who identify as demiromantic, may enter romantic relationships only under certain conditions. People who do not experience platonic attraction are called aplatonic. Aromantic people can also experience sensual attraction. Those who do not feel sensual attraction are called asensual. According to the Aromantic Census 2020, 14.6% of respondents had been in non-romantic partnerships.

Some people argue that aromanticism is not widely understood or studied enough. In society, aromantic people are often judged unfairly and stereotyped as being afraid of intimacy, heartless, or confused. A term called "amatonormativity," created by philosopher Elizabeth Brake, describes the belief that everyone is better off in a romantic, long-term relationship. This belief can harm aromantic people by making non-romantic relationships seem less valuable.

In the LGBTQIA+ acronym, the "A" stands for aromanticism, along with asexuality and agender. Aromanticism is a spectrum, meaning there are many identities within it. Some common labels include:

• Aromantic: little to no romantic attraction.
• Grayromantic: rare or weak romantic attraction.
• Demiromantic: romantic attraction only after a close non-romantic bond is formed.
• Desinoromantic: feels a crush but not romantic love.
• Aegoromantic: enjoys romantic love in stories but not in real life.
• Lithromantic: feels romantic attraction but does not want it to be returned.
• Recipromantic: feels romantic attraction only after knowing the other person is attracted to them.
• Cupioromantic: does not feel romantic attraction but wants a romantic relationship.
• Aroflux: romantic attraction changes over time.
• Frayromantic: feels romantic attraction only for people they do not know.
• Quoiromantic: unsure if feelings are romantic, sexual, or platonic.
• Placioromantic: does not want to receive romantic acts but may perform them for others.
• Apothiromantic: feels repulsed by romance.
• Requiesromantic: does not feel romantic attraction due to emotional exhaustion.

There are also newer terms that are not yet widely used in the community.

Community

The modern term "aromantic" was first used in 2005. Early online groups discussing aromanticism formed on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), an online community focused on asexuality, and on social media platforms like Tumblr.

Later, a dedicated online community for aromanticism developed on Arocalypse.com and other social media platforms.

To help more people understand and accept aromanticism, a group called the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA) was created. AUREA works to educate others about aromanticism and improve public understanding of people on the aromantic spectrum. AUREA also organizes the annual Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, which takes place in February.

Another group, The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP), provides information about both asexuality and aromanticism. They offer workshops, create educational materials, and share resources with the LGBTQIA+ community and the general public. TAAAP also wrote a book titled Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity, which was published in April 2023.

The Aromantic Pride Flag was designed in 2014 by Cameron Whimsy. The main color, green, was chosen because it is the opposite of red, which is often linked to romantic love. Two shades of green represent the aromantic spectrum, white stands for platonic love and friendship, and grey and black show the range of sexual identities.

A white ring worn on the left middle finger is sometimes used to show someone is on the aromantic spectrum. This is the opposite of the ace ring, which is a black ring worn on the right hand.

Arrows are also used as a symbol by aromantic people. The word "arrow" sounds like the shortened version of "aromantic," which is "aro."

Symbols associated with aromanticism include:
– The aromantic pride flag
– A white ring, usually worn on the left middle finger
– A pin showing an arrow with fletching in the colors of the aromantic pride flag

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (ASAW) happens every year during the first full week after Valentine’s Day, starting on Sunday. In 2025, it was held from February 16 to February 22.

The event was first held from November 10 to 17, 2014, and later moved to February in 2015 to take place the week after Valentine’s Day. ASAW aims to celebrate and raise awareness about aromantic identities and the challenges faced by people on the aromantic spectrum. AUREA and members of the aromantic community organize ASAW.

ASAW has been officially recognized in some U.S. states, including Washington.

The first Aromantic Visibility Day was held on June 5, 2023. It began with a call to action on Twitter using the hashtag #AromanticVisibilityDay. People shared information about aromanticism on social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Reddit, as well as online forums. A cover interview with aromantic-asexual author Alice Oseman in Hello! magazine also helped spread awareness.

Cultural representation

Aromanticism is not shown much in movies, books, or other media, but more people are learning about it and accepting it now.

As more people understand aromanticism, more books about it are being written. In 2022, TAAAP made a list of books to share during Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.

Some well-known aromantic writers are Alice Oseman and Darcie Little Badger. Oseman wrote a young adult book called Loveless, which tells the story of a college student learning about her aromantic and asexual identity.

Since 2023, several non-fiction books about aromanticism have been published:
– Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else (February 2023)
– Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity (April 2023)
– Hopeless Aromantic: An Affirmative Guide to Aromanticism (July 2023)
– Ending the Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism, and Agender Identity (February 2024)

AZE is a journal started in 2016 by Michael Paramo. It shares stories and experiences from people who are aromantic, asexual, or agender.

The podcast Sounds Fake but Okay, hosted by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca, talks about aromanticism and asexuality. It has helped make the aromantic and asexual community more visible and won the 2020 Discover Pods Award for best LGBTQ+ Culture Podcast.

In March 2022, popular YouTube animator Jaiden Dittfach shared a video where he announced he is aromantic and asexual, also called aro-ace.

Discrimination and cultural erasure

Discrimination, fear, and prejudice against aromantic people, known as arophobia, are common in both the general public and within the LGBTQIA+ community. When this prejudice targets both aromantic and asexual people, it is called aphobia.

The term amatonormativity was created by Elizabeth Brake in her book Minimizing Marriage. It describes the idea that people should want to be in romantic relationships, get married, or have only one partner. Because aromanticism goes against many Western societal expectations, aromantic people often face pressure and prejudice to follow these social norms and form romantic relationships.

Although aromantic and asexual people have existed for as long as humans have, the words used to describe them and the public discussion about them have only become widely known in recent years.

Aromantic people are often excluded from discussions and media representations, including within the LGBTQIA+ community. This exclusion sometimes leads to mistakes, such as people incorrectly believing the "A" in the LGBTQIA+ acronym stands for "ally." In reality, the "A" represents aromanticism, asexuality, and agender.

This lack of recognition also appears in television, such as in the 2017 show Riverdale. The character Jughead Jones is asexual and aromantic, but the writers changed his identity to heterosexual despite requests from fans and the actor who plays him to keep his original identity.

Aromantic heterosexual men may be unfairly labeled as "womanizers" by people who do not understand aromanticism. Sociologist Hannah Tessler has written about this issue.

To address the stigma and discrimination faced by aromantic people, community and health organizations have created educational materials to inform the public. One common misunderstanding is that aromanticism prevents people from living fulfilling lives. Academic Michael Paramo has written about this.

Activist Yasmin Benoit, who is aromantic and asexual, has pointed out that government offices, such as the Government Equalities Office, have not yet included aromanticism in their surveys. This forces people to label themselves as "other" instead.

It is also important to note that some people within the asexual and aromantic communities mistakenly think aromanticism and asexuality are the same, even though many aromantic people do not identify as asexual.

According to the Aromantic Census 2020, 82.43% of respondents said they were not taken seriously, ignored, or dismissed by others. 48.34% reported being told they needed to be "fixed" or "cured." 70.51% said discrimination against their aromantic identity had affected their lives.

Research

The term aromanticism is still new. Because of this, there are not many scientific studies about it. Most of the few studies that exist often treat aromanticism as part of asexuality.

In April 2023, two professors at the University of Toronto started the Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography. This project helps collect and track academic articles about asexuality and aromanticism.

The idea that romantic and sexual orientation are different is not studied much yet. However, newer research shows that people experience a wide range of attractions.

A 2022 study looked at how romantic orientation and sexual attitudes match. It found that while some people have similar romantic and sexual orientations, they are not always the same. This means that some people feel attraction in different ways, both in people who experience sexual attraction and those who do not. The study also noted that few people who experience sexual attraction identified as aromantic, possibly because they are not familiar with the term.

Debra Laino, a certified clinical sexologist, explains that a common misunderstanding is that aromantic people do not want to have sex. She says aromantic people can still feel sexual attraction, but they may not connect with how romance is shown in media and culture.

A 2021 research article discussed zines, which are self-published works, and their role in helping people in the aromantic and asexual communities understand their identities. The article noted that aromanticism is often treated as part of asexuality, but it is a separate concept.

The number of aromantic people in the general population is not fully understood. About 1% of the population is estimated to be asexual, and about 26% of those people also identify as aromantic. However, there is not enough research about how many people who experience sexual attraction also identify as aromantic.

A study of 414 American adults found that about 1% of participants were not romantically attracted to either sex (aromantic). The study also found that about 10.6% of participants had different romantic and sexual orientations.

A survey in Japan found that 1.6% of participants did not report romantic or sexual attraction, and 0.8% reported sexual attraction but not romantic attraction.

The term aromanticism began in online asexual communities. Newer research shows that romantic and sexual orientation are separate, and more people are recognizing this difference. Some people find it hard to tell romantic and sexual attraction apart because they often overlap. Between 19% and 28% of asexual people also identify as aromantic.

A recent study analyzed online conversations in the aromantic and asexual communities. It found that assumptions about romantic relationships (allonormativity) are common in communication studies. Researchers say these assumptions need to be addressed to create better academic work about aromanticism and asexuality.

In January 2024, PRIDEnet, a project at Stanford University School of Medicine, released a report after talking with members of the aromantic community in 2023. The report aimed to improve research about aromantic people’s health and challenges.

AUREA, an organization that supports research on aromanticism, hosts an archive of studies. Some of these are peer-reviewed, and others are from community surveys.

In 2020, AUREA conducted a census of the aromantic community, receiving 9,758 responses worldwide. Most respondents identified as asexual, but about a third did not. This shows that aromanticism is not only linked to asexuality. The census authors noted that the survey may have overrepresented asexual people and others due to language and recruitment methods. AUREA plans to repeat the census every six months but has not yet shared the 2022 results.

In 2021, a survey focused on the allosexual aromantic community found 647 responses. Most respondents identified as queer (43%), and only 8.8% identified as heterosexual.